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Sixth-Graders Find Treasure In Writing - 3

By The U-K Editor
Aug. 1, 2007

[Editor's Note:  This is the third of many 6th-grade student essays I will be posting in succession.  The essays were written in response to a standardized topic prompt:  "Tell a story about how you found a box of treasure."  The students had two hours to complete their essays, under testing conditions.  This one is a particularly fine example, written by a young lady.  Enjoy!]




Emma gradually lifted out of her peaceful sleep, the slicing feeling that something was wrong tugging at her shoulders.  Reluctantly she pushed off her soft comforter, and for a moment bathed in the sun’s beautiful light.  Her eyes slowly made their way over to the open bedroom window, the crisp, gentle breeze silently soaking her room with the feeling of fun and freedom that summertime brought year after year.  She gazed at her set of antique quill pens, which in the breeze looked like dancing birds.  She had inherited them from her loving grandmother, when she had passed away five years ago.  Emma still desperately missed her, and she wished with all her heart that she was back in her life. 

She sighed, the feeling of familiar sadness invading her.  She gazed at the window once more, and simply sitting on the dusty window sill was an old, crumpled scroll that seemed as though someone threw it on the ground and stomped on it.  It reminded her of the crumpled-up tests that littered the recycling bin after a big test in school.  Emma shuddered.  Just the thought of going back to school and sitting through stretching lecture after lecture gave her the chills.  She was sure glad she wasn’t there now!

Emma sat up and, in a flash, darted over to the window like a rabbit being chased by a fox.  She gingerly picked up the scroll and unrolled it.  It read:

Tonight you must complete a very important mission.  You must go to the MoonLit Hill Cemetery at midnight tonight.  There you will find a wood-carved box sitting on top of one of the graves.  Do not look in the box.  You are to take that box and burn it with matches, then put out the fire with a pail of water.  On top of the ashes you will find your reward.  Do not fail me.  If you choose to, however, there will be vital consequences.

Emma’s mouth hung open in awe.  What did this mean?  Who was it from?  She had no answers, but she knew one thing.  The part about “vital consequences” seemed rather unpleasant, and she knew she was going to be there at the dark cemetery at midnight.

Emma trudged along the path, her once moist mouth as dry as the desert ground, her breath short and quickened.  She was hopelessly afraid and worst of all—alone.  Emma was on her way to the Moonlit Hill Cemetery, the scariest cemetery in town.  All of her friends claimed it was haunted, and the shadows always seemed to be following you.  She shivered just thinking about it.  In her hands she held a pail of sloshing water that seemed to have lost about a fourth of its water by spilling over the edges of the pail.  In her other hand she held a little red box filled with matches.  She felt a surge of power just holding them.  She looked ahead of her at the pitch black path, which led to the cemetery.

She stopped, took a deep breath, and didn’t stop until she was at the entrance of the Moonlit Hill Cemetery.  She cautiously entered the cemetery and immediately started looking for the box.  Within seconds she spied it and started for the grave which it was sitting on.  When she arrived at the grave, she was unbelievably tempted to peek inside, but she reluctantly followed the directions of the note—and didn’t.  She set the pail of water down and reached into the matchbox to retrieve matches.  She quickly lit it and pressed it against the box.  It quickly started to burn, the flames piercing through the darkness.  When it was mostly ashes, she poured the pail of water onto it.

Emma gasped.  On top of the ashes was a beautifully carved box.  She opened it up to find an assortment of nearly every jewel that existed.  She smiled at the sparkling jewels, her smile cutting through the darkness.



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About the author:  Ed Stevens is U-K's Managing Editor.

(and a tutor!)


Email: uksubmissions@yahoo.com


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