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Apr. 20, 2007 Mark, if you want to boost a bunch of stuff at Wal-Mart, go ahead and boost to your heart's content. No one at Useless-Knowledge.com is going to do anything about it. But please don't act as if that makes you a modern day Robinhood or Jesus. If ripping off a department store makes you a Robinhood, then Richmond County Jail must be Sherwood Forest. If it makes you a Jesus, you've got a whole army of disciples in the Georgia Department of Corrections' prisons. But let me give you some advice. Instead of shoplifting at Wal-Mart, where you have contrived a handy little rationalization to soothe your conscience, why don't you try shoplifting at the Bank of America? Sure, it takes a little more cerebral activity to purloin $100 bills than underpants, but if your brain is not already on overload with your Wal-Mart schemes, maybe you can concoct a modus operandi. It can be done. You might rationalize it this way. The Bank of America was founded and is operated mostly by Italians and Italian-Americans. Don't forget that Italians were our enemies in the WWII, and killed many Americans, perhaps even some relatives of yours or your acquaintances'. Therefore, you have every right to recover war indemnities from this alien-run bank. Here's one way to do it. Go to Wal-Mart and rip off a pistol and a briefcase. Go home and put on your Sunday-go-meeting clothes, unless you are Jewish, in which case, you put on your Saturday-go-meeting clothes. Then you go to the Bank of America, and tell someone in New Accounts on the first floor that you are a business man seeking to invest about $750,000 in some property in the vicinity and would like to add to that amount with a bank loan. You would like to consult the bank director. When you get into the director's office, when he steps away from his desk for a minute, you put the pistol to his temple, and tell him to get $150,000 in cash up there on the double or you'll blow his brains out. Once he gives you the cash, you run out the door in a hurry and get lost. Bravo, war indemnities have been collected! Now you can go online, explaining how you are punishing Italy for giving us Mussolini. If you are afraid to return to the Bank of America, the next time you can try the First National Bank of Atlanta, Wachovia Bank, Sun Trust Bank or Barnett Bank. Of course, you'll have to change your rationalization each time. I knew somebody who did just as I've described. Unfortunately he got caught eventually. So you'd have to be exceedingly careful. Of course, there are much more sophisticated and failsafe ways to shoplift the Bank of America, but you don't get to know about them. It is up to you to figure them out for yourself. It just takes some mathematical ability and a little research at the public library. ------------ About the author Thomas Keyes: I have written two books: A SOJOURN IN ASIA (non-fiction) and A TALE OF UNG (fiction), neither published so far. I have studied languages for years and traveled extensively on five continents. Email: udikeyes@yahoo.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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