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By Tom Pain
Apr. 19, 2007 Did you read the unbiased and accurate headlines in all the papers this week? It seems a study has shown that abstinence-only sex education classes produce the exact same results that "comprehensive" sex education classes do. WOW! Why the heck have we been teaching them to screw like rabbits when that does not reduce the incidents of teen pregnancy and STDs any more than teaching them not to screw at all??? The liberals will claim that we’re not teaching them to screw like rabbits – they already were. They claim to only be teaching them how to screw like rabbits responsibly. Of course, the facts prove otherwise. Teen sexual activity has steadily increased over the last 50 years. Prior to that period, and for the millions of years since mankind crawled from the first caves, unmarried teen sex was rare. With the liberalization of society - begun, encouraged, abetted, and now enforced by liberals – came higher rates of STDs and teen pregnancy. I am waiting for liberals to apply their distorted logic to comprehensive education on all subjects for our children. It also seems that teen crime has increased over the last 50 years. We have violent children (I won’t limit it to teens) roaming the streets in gangs waging gun battles. We have Columbine and Virginia Tech and a dozen others. Our children are murdering, stealing, raping, and assaulting in unprecedented numbers. So, let’s take the liberal strategy and require mandatory murder education classes. Why teach our children not to murder at all – they’re obviously going to be doing it anyway. Instead, let’s teach them how to stab, machine gun, hack, strangle, and beat NON-LETHALLY!!!! I’ve read of people stabbed many times who still survive. Ditto with bullet holes, baseball bats to the head, etc. Think of all the lives we would save if we had mandatory classes on how to shoot, stab, hack, etc. without actually killing your victim! I am a little troubled by the potential for long-term psychological effect on our students however – as I’m sure the liberals will be. Can you imagine the esteem issues these children will have? They want to murder, they want to rape and assault and strangle, but we’ve talked them out of it. They’ll feel like failures. Not to worry! For those students in our classes who go ahead and kill, rape, assault, etc. despite our education, we’ll go ahead and pass them anyway. Remember children, YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE! If, after a couple of years of our "How to Attack Others Responsibly" classes, if studies show that teen violence resulting in death has not been reduced significantly from when we were teaching "Children, Never Attack Other People," we can celebrate our unqualified success. Next up: "Children, Learn How to Maximize Your Chances of Survival from Jumping Off Tall Buildings." ------------ About the author Tom Pain: Just an American boy with so much common sense, it hurts. Email: thomas.pain@hughes.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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