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Sept. 18, 2006 Ung’s jumbo-jets, with 600 to 1000 meganewton thrust, were super-turbofans, 2000 feet in length, that could carry 100,000 passengers. Typically they cruised at 1600 miles an hour. Only airlines of the megalopolises of the realm, Mecnita, Dorgdid and Fwascren, used jumbo-jets, because of the $50,000,000,000 price tag. The mini-jets were just 700 feet long and carried only 2000 passengers. They went for $2,000,000,000 each. These were what the smaller airlines, like Air Fulumoa and Air Bogolrog, used. The excellent appointments of an Air Fwascren jumbo-jet included a swimming pool, a tennis court, a dance floor and a library. But Udi and I were too intent on the grave problem we confronted to make use of the splendid facilities that under other circumstances would have pleasured us immensely. The lovely clairvoyant, Tufiatani, had convinced us in a reading she had done on Ulunonu Island in Ungonesia, that Plubac, the xenophobic gang that had been persecuting Udi and myself, was not entirely extinct, as we had supposed when we threw Zergfa from a cliff in Vunu Vunu. No, she said there were still two other xenophobes, Dleodaz and Pangsba by name, very much alive and looking for us frantically in Fwascren. She’d recommended that we deal with the problem promptly. So Queen Udi and I spent our time on board the plane, discussing such few options as we had in our predicament. It seemed that we had hardly taken off from Jezgroid Airport in Mecnita when it was announced we’d be landing presently in Fescarf Airport in suburban Fwascren. At the terminal we caught an intra-city golden comet that took us to Zhaculard Square . We went right away to Hotel Zhaculard, where we had stayed before, and got a room without ado. This was an old-fashioned, but elegant, little inn, with lots of architectural curiosities, like barbicans and bartizans, and battlements and turrets, as in a fortress. But Udi and I had little time for that. Rather, our object was to make ourselves as visible as possible, by frequenting all the fashionable places about town, the sunny promenades and esplanades, the malls and gardens, the lanes and avenues. We rode down bridle paths and cycled on the sidewalks cloisonné. We frequented the scores of ferris wheels in the median strip along Nurushul Boulevard . We visited the emporiums and galleries, the operas and museums. We were here and there and everywhere at once. One evening as I looked down from the second floor where we were living, I saw two figures in the ghastly yellow light emitted by the sodium vapor lamps atop the lampposts on the sidewalk. The two men were human buffalos, just like Zergfa, the decedent, seven feet tall with three hundred pounds of brawn. What marked them as men of Plubac were the capes and hose they all seemed to wear. I knew at a glance that they were Dleodaz and Pangsba. Our strategy was working apparently. They surveilled our apartment for about three days. At last, Udi and I went down onto the sidewalk around midnight one night, when the streets were empty, as if we were going out to make a late call at a friend’s house. But this was just a calculated risk. Immediately, Dleodaz and Pangsba stepped out of the darkness and laid hands on me and Udi, putting us blindfolded aboard a motorized coach without seats, somewhat like a rolling closet. They stood in front, on a running board of sorts, and five minutes later, they commanded us to alight and follow them into a dark room in an eery building I had never seen before. “Where are Zergfa, Wezmim and Piluglag?” they demanded to know. “Where is Torcbu? Where are Ovojarv and Fushnilg? Where are Dredplap, Isofongd and Twando? Tell us or we’ll kill you!” We refused to talk. They threatened us again and again. They struck me several times. We refused to talk. Finally, Pangsba grabbed Udi’s low-cut dress by the neckline and ripped it off her body, nearly felling her, so she was left in petticoat and bra. “Vocno,” roared Pangsba, “If you don’t tell me where the men of Plubac are, I will rape and kill Udi right before your eyes. I will crush her skull with my bare hands, do you hear?” “No, no, I beg of you. I’ll talk. I’ll talk.” “Well, talk, you trashy little scarecrow,” bellowed Dleodaz. “They’re in Ungonesia. They’re being held for ransom on Fulumoa Island .” “Ungonesia? Fulumoa? What the hell? You expect me to believe you?” “I’ll take you to them, if you’ll just spare Udi, I swear it.” “Ungonesia? I can hardly believe you’re telling me this.” “No, it’s true. Several Fulumoan braves, posing as a dance troupe, came to Fwascren in order to abduct them. They’d heard that they hated Fulumoans, and planned at first to kill them. Later, Tamufala, the chief decided it would make more sense to hold them for $10,000,000 in gold pieces.” “Ten million! That’s pocket change! I go through ten million every week! Very well! We’ll let you lead us to them and we’ll pay the ransom! But I warn you, if you are lying, you are dead!” They left us locked in the room all night, but came early in the morning dressed as marshals. Dleodaz handcuffed Udi to himself, and Pangsba handcuffed me. Back we went to Fescarf Airport , with a heavy chest of gold, and after two successive flights, we arrived in Badako in the afternoon. Hiring an elephant driver, the four of us got in the howdah, with the chest, as the super-proboscidean lumbered 13 miles through muddy jungle slums to deliver us to Sambakang Temple . In the midst of the temple compound, stood a smallish building, in which there was an altar. Chief Tamufala, seeing we had arrived, came out to meet us, and Udi explained to him in Fulu, which neither Dleodaz nor Pangsba nor I myself understood, exactly what was happening. The xenophobes counted out $10,000,000 in gold pieces, which made a massive pile. Tamufala was in raptures. Udi said to Dleodaz and Pangsba, “Your comrades are in the building in the center of the compound. Tamufala says that you may fetch them now.” Dleodaz and Pangsba started towards the little building, but when they got halfway there, and were walking in a wide open place, a score of Fulu warriors fell on them from all directions. Dleodaz and Pangsba were no match for those ferocious giants. Minutes later they had been strapped to two poles, and there they were burnt to death in honor of the god of the Fulus, whose name is Sambakang. ------------ About the author Thomas Keyes: I have written two books: A SOJOURN IN ASIA (non-fiction) and A TALE OF UNG (fiction), neither published so far. I have studied languages for years and traveled extensively on five continents. Email: udikeyes@yahoo.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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