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By Patrick Hurley Sept. 12, 2006 Have you seen the freak that typifies Burger King? Some of the commercials have him peering into a window of a potentially hungry customer. How would you like to wake up and see THAT checking you out in the morning? He is as warm and fuzzy as the Night Stalker with a crown. Think of the parents trying to get their children to respond to this huge headed monster with eyes that rival Jennifer Wilbanks, the Runaway Bride... "Hey kids, get up! I see the Burger King. It's time to run down to the restaurant with him to try their new breakfast sandwich!" Not a CHANCE! If I saw that garish Halloween head, I would grab a long metal object and spear him backwards with one hand while dialing 911 with the other one. This is not a mascot for a fast food company, this is is an image that will give my family nightmares. What is Burger King, the company, THINKING? He is as lovable as Ted Bundy. Ronald McDonald was passable. The clown face was a little much but they redeemed him by giving him a House that donated millions of dollars to charity. That saved the character. It is a little tricky coming up with animals or cartoon characters that represent your product. My first encounter with a creature making a sales pitch memorable was the Hamm's Beer Bear. Remember the jingle? "From the Land of Sky Blue Waters..." He ran around with a beehive on his head. Soon after, came the Ipana (Bucky) Beaver..."Brushy, brushy, brushy, with the new Ipana..." I haven't heard from that brand of toothpaste in forty years, but I REMEMBER the slogan like it was yesterday! I liked the kid from Alka-Seltzer, Speedy. There was, The Jolly Green Giant, ("Ho, Ho, Ho!") Mr. Clean, Elsie the Cow, ("Only the CONTENTED cows come from Borden's!") Spuds MacKenzie, the California Raisins, the Marlboro Man, the Coppertone Girl, the Energizer Bunny, Frito Bandito, the Little Old Winemaker, Snap, Crackle and Pop, Marky Maypo, the Vlasic stork, the Trix rabbit, Charley the Tuna, the Old Spice Sailor and my all-time favorite...Tony the Tiger! Today, we have the Aflac duck and the California Cows. It would be fun to work on an ad campaign and create a great character that would be memorable forever. Just think, when they write your obituary they will write the name of your product character next to it. Write to me and tell me your favorite mascot. Go down memory lane and remember when you were a kid and you loved eating or drinking something because you liked the one telling you it was okay to do it! And, thank the Lord you didn't have that godawful Burger King peering into YOUR window... ------------ About the author:   Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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