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By Patrick Hurley Sept. 7, 2006 I am having trouble typing this morning. I am still awestruck by Katie Couric's first newscast as the sole anchorwoman in national news broadcast history. Aren't you EXCITED? I am going to call her Katie in this article and not mention her last name again because I believe she would prefer it that way. She wants all of us to be her friends. So, Katie is my new friend unlike Charles Gibson and Brian Williams who are not really my friends, just regular anchor guys. First of all, I think Katie is so perky and sassy, don't you? I love the way she comes out from behind that anchor desk and shows us her legs. That is all about FRIENDSHIP! She is being personal with all of us. She did that constantly on, "The Today Show." too. After several years of this televised exhibitionism, her gams become known as, "Katie's famous legs!" I love it. I want my anchor friend to let me see more than just his or her face. Don't you? She rattled off the news quickly so we could all be treated to the OTHER segments of the show. News is boring anyway. I think people who tune into national news broadcasts are definitely more interested in round table interviews with people we have never heard of and to be stimulated by media types who try to be funny for two minutes. Last night we got to hear from Morgan Spurlock, the creator of, "Super Size It!" He told us that America is not really divided but that it only seems to be because of the media. I had never thought of that before. The media MISREPRESENTING the reality of what is really happening in America? Wow. His insights made me breathless. Thanks, Katie. I look forward to more of your "special" guests in the upcoming weeks telling me more of their opinions instead of wearing me down with news that could affect my life.... It will be a riveting to hear MORE from people like Rush Limbaugh, Bill Clinton, George Bush, Al Gore, Alec Baldwin, Susan Sarandon and whoever else my friend Katie places in front of me instead of all that inane information about what is really happening in the world today. It is kinda like watching, "The Today Show" at NIGHT! Maybe she will do a cooking segment or put plate glass behind her desk so we can see all those crazy people with their homemade signs. I think that would be really cool, don't you? Finally, my friend Katie wants me and all her pals to go to a CBS website and suggest sign offs for her newscast. Edward R. Murrow used to say, "Good night and good luck." Walter Cronkite bade us farewell nightly with, "And that's the way it is...." I am going to really try and help my friend Katie out here. I am thinking of the phrase that would perfectly capture what I saw last night and what we can count on EVERY night from her.... "See you tomorrow night, Suckers!" Yes, I believe that is it. I think it really capsulizes how she feels about our intelligence and our inability to see through her act, don't you? I sure do love my new best friend. ------------ About the author:   Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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