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Sept. 3, 2006 In another lifetime, there were many shared camping and hiking trips with my husband Grumpy and the three boys. Grumpy had a bunch of fancy equipment. We shared a big tent while the boys each had individual smaller tents.. The boys became men and headed for separate parts of the world to seek their fortunes. The marriage went South. I still love camping and hiking. The first time, I tried Solo Camping - I slept on top of the tent that I borrowed because I couldn't figure out how to get the darn up. I built a campfire with pine needles and old romance novels. I brewed Mango tea and drank out of fine China. Last week, I dug my step-son's old tent out ex-hubby's's closet. I borrowed ex-hubby's ice chest and gave Ferlin the Mutt a bath. Ferlin was not happy but if he shares a tent with me, he gets a bath. I telephoned a girlfriend who agreed to meet me at the Greenbrier State Forest to help set up the tent. When we reached the campsite, together we figured out how to pitch the tent. I told my girlfriend that there was plenty of room for her and her dog Nickey. "Naw," She replied. "Two man tent means one man, not two women and two dogs." We were sitting on the bench chatting when a superb specimen of masculinity walked up and introduced himself. The Gentleman expressed concerned about being from New Jersey and that the locals might think him different. "Don't Worry," I assured him. "I am from Los Angeles and they REALLY think I'm strange. Mr. New Jersey was a Cancer but he sure acted like a talkative Gemini. He was with a group of spelunkers on their way to a caving event in West Virginia. As Mr. New Jersey left, my girlfriend whispered, "Does this happen to you all the time? I hope you practice safe sex." I started laughing, "This is a Venus Return but sex in the woods is not on my agenda this weekend. Besides, I like my men preferable bald but at least with a little more gray on top of their heads." I told her. "The younger the buck, the stiffer the horn!' she advised me with a wink. After she left, Mr. New Jersey came and invited to join the group for coffee. My plan was to simply drive over to the local service station and buy a cup. Later that evening, the Spelunkers gravitated toward my campsite to cook dinner on the over the campfire. New Jersey taught me how to build a campfire. Yeah! They cooked Chicken, I donated Tofu Dogs to the dinner. The next morning, my Caving Buddies all went to Scott's Hallow Cave. I actually live a few miles from that cave. I wished I was with them but life on life's terms. I didn't have the caving equipment so I went Geocaching instead. Ferlin and I headed for the Black Bear Trail. We made it to the top of the mountain when Ferlin started barking at exactly what I didn't want to see. There was a black bear several feet away. My heartbeat accelerated as I pondered about how to handle this situation. The bear saw us and ducked behind a tree, while checking us by peeking from behind the other side of the tree. I noticed that there was another bear in the tree next to the bear behind the tree. Were the two bears having a conversation about rather to eat Ferlin or me first? I started banging sticks together and singing. Ferlin was still barking his big dog bark. The bears ran away. My singing must have really scared them off. I decided that it might be prudent to leave the trail as quickly as possible but we still had a little over a mile to go. It started to rain but I kept singing. Maybe the bears didn't like getting wet either. Ferlin and I eventually made it off that trail and back to camp, I discovered that I forgot to put the top cover on the tent. My sleeping bag was soaked. Luckily, I had a comforter and didn't have to wuss out and go home. Poor Ferlin was zoned out that night. He didn't even get up to bark at the other campers. With my luck, if I ever go caving in Scot's Hallow, I'll inadvertly wake up some old grouchy hibernating bear along with the bats and crickets. In a few weeks, I will be solo camping at Blue Bend. I learned my lesson about keeping the top on the tent. I am also bringing an air mattress. I am too darn old for sleeping on the ground. A motel would be even better but life on life's terms, I'll be in the tent with Ferlin again. . I am carrying pepper spray in case I run into disagreeable bears. I am also taking along the Astrologer's Ephemeris so that I can check out the cute guys I run into at the camp grounds. ------------ About the author: Bonijean Isaacs is a freelance writer and Astrologer in West Virginia. Email: inez4liberty@gmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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