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By Patrick Hurley Oct. 22, 2006 There are women out there who do want to be told what to do and when they do, they EXCEED expectations. Are you men paying attention out there? Well, at this point it is only in ONE area of life but hey, it's a start! If you want the female in your life to do better in math just tell her she is equal to a man and she will accomplish it. If you tell her she is not, she will accomplish that, too! You control her success rate in this academic exercise according to Steven J. Heine, a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia in Canada. His tests on female behavior proved that when they are told they can do well in math they, uh, DO! He organized four groups of women between 2003 and 2006 and told half of them they would do well in math and the other half they would not. The first half succeeded as he told them they would. The second group had lower test scores because he convinced them they were not as gifted as men. This is amazing to me. "The findings suggest that people tend to accept genetic explanations as if they're more powerful or irrevocable which can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies," said Heine. As some of you may remember it was the FORMER President at Harvard University who suggested there were innate differences between men and women and that is why fewer women did not reach the same level as men in science jobs. Of course, he was fired shortly thereafter for his controversial statements. But, this new study is intriguing to say the least. It sure sounds like the power of positive thinking. Just tell someone they CAN do it and VOILA! They can. Hmm, I wonder if this extends beyond math... I believe it does. When I was in high school I used to tell girls to kiss me even though we weren't dating. At first they were flabbergasted at my idiotic suggestion and resisted me, but I kept smiling and insisting that they really WANTED to and in over half of the cases, they did! As bold as I was, I was still shocked. But, since it worked a majority of the time, I kept doing it. My buddies were in awe of this phenomenon. Of course, they would never have the boldness to pull off such a lip locking coup. It even worked in dating, too. I saw Miss USA at a stop light and asked her if I could hop into her convertible and hang out with her... Yep! This proves a basis maxim, people seem to want to be told what to do. If you tell them they will do well in math, they obey. If you tell them to kiss you, they obey that, too. Do you realize the IMPLICATIONS of this? You could change the world by telling people how to follow your wishes. I mean why stop at math or kissing when there are more serious fish to fry? I could sit down with Howard Dean and the leadership of the Democratic Party and tell them WHO I want them to nominate for President in 2008: Ted Kennedy. He is experienced, has a rich family tradition and it is time to bring Camelot back! Once I had them agreeing with me on that choice I would tell them to nominate one of their wonderful statesmen for Vice-President: George McGovern. Once I succeeded in flushing the Democrats down the toilet I would go head for Pakistan and encourage Osama bin Laden to turn himself in because he really should do that as a responsible Muslim. End of terror from that source. Roger over and out. Next up, I will order Renee Zellweger to marry me, convince NBC to buy my new sitcom concept, tell Victoria's Secret they need me to consult with their models for their new ad campaign, persuade Home Town Buffet to give me a lifetime pass, explain firmly to the Beach Boys that they need to let me tour with them as their new lead singer and, the greatest work of persuasion ever...talk my college-age daughter to CLEAN HER ROOM! That way I could be forever grateful to Steven J. Heine and die a happy man and go to heaven! Provided that God is a female who needs work on Her math... ------------ About the author:   Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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