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By Patrick Hurley Oct. 21, 2006 I was doing my grocery shopping at 12:45 a.m. this morning after a workout at my health club which left me so hyper I HAD to do something constructive! Naturally, since my store was empty I had all the aisles to myself. So, I took my time and used the food supplier as a Borders bookstore. Soon, I was perusing the National Enquirer. If you are going to be roaming the earth after everyone has gone to sleep, the Enquirer is your huckleberry... A stunning headline greeted me..."O.J. Simpson CONFESSES!" Well, that made my night let me assure you. I have suspected all along it was not the Colombian drug smugglers. I turned to the middle of the, uh, "newspaper" and read excitedly because we are finally going to get that sleaze bag... No, we're not. If this report is true, (and I have NO reason to doubt since it was in the ENQUIRER!) then O.J. Simpson is pulling off the coup of the literary world this year. He is getting $3.5 million to finally tell the truth without any consequences.According to the Enquirer, he has already SPENT the two million dollars of it and bought two homes in cash to secure his living arrangements for life. He is now figuring out a way to shield the remaining $1.5 million from Fred Goldman who is breathing down his neck like a panting German Shepherd looking for justice for his murdered son, Ron. Mr. Goldman won $33 million in a civil suit trial and (rightfully) believes he is entitled to that compensation because of what Simpson did to Ron that fateful night. He will never see a penny of it. O.J. Simpson is as adept in avoiding legal tackles as he was when he ran on the football field. He continues to outrun any pursuers since the night he decapitated his ex-wife, Nicole and the young Goldman. As he recounts that evening he will allegedly claim in his book that he had an accomplice named, "Charlie." When the two of them arrived that night, according to the Juice, they were just going to scare Nicole because O.J. was furious that she was having a sexual "threesome" with his children in another part of the house. He packed a knife and the two men showed up at the townhouse and were confronted by Nicole. At that point, "Charlie" took the knife away from the enraged ex-football star to make sure nothing bad would happen. Through the gate comes Ron Goldman who CLAIMED he was just returning a pair of glasses left by Nicole's mom earlier that evening at the restaurant where he worked. (He was also dating Nicole, too) However, when O.J. saw the lit candles in the window and a handsome young man standing there he put two and two together (lit candles always meant Nicole was going to have sex, according to Simpson who knew his ex-wife's romantic side quite well) and he grabbed the knife from his accomplice. After pushing and shoving Nicole around and seeing Ron in a martial arts stance, Orenthal James Simpson went to work and in a few short minutes there was more blood than any he had ever seen on a football field. He said he really doesn't remember much during that time but thinks there is a good chance he did the crime. Yeah, I would agree with that summation. If this report is true, "The Trial of the Century" now may finally be resolved to no one's satisfaction but O.J. himself. The white people in this country are going to rise up and scream, "I TOLD you so!" The black community is going to be a little stunned and when they finally do speak many of them will retort, "Well, for once a black man caught a BREAK!" The division will continue. Nicole Simpson is dead. Fred Goldman has lost a son forever and he will never see a dime of justice for it and O.J. Simpson, who is already a pariah, will be a richer one. He is set for life which is more than can be said for anyone else involved in this tragedy. We always knew O.J. could fly through airports. We just never dreamt he could soar over the legal system and laugh at all the attempts down below to make him pay for shameful acts and equal lack of character. I am just thankful there is one Person who has the capacity to finally confront this pathetic worm for his sins. You can't write books or hire high-priced lawyers on Judgment Day. But, you can face your demons in hell after that final decision is rendered. I will not speculate on the status of O.J's soul when he finally stands before his Almighty God. But, for once Mr. Simpson will not be able to lie, slash and connive his way through that confrontation because this Judge and jury will not be Asian or black... He will be Righteous. Thank God. ------------ About the author:   Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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