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By Patrick Hurley Oct. 12, 2006 Guess who won over a billion dollars in August? No, take a wild guess... The casinos in Nevada. That was not the amount of money wagered; that was their PROFIT! To be more precise...$1.06 billion. In one month. When will we ever learn. Almost everyone has a gambling story. I would wager 99% of those that do; have a LOSING money gambling story. I have a good friend who loves to remind everyone of the night he won $38,000.00 at the craps table. It is a great narration. He details how he and his wife was putting chips everywhere, in her pants, in her purse, in all his pockets and socks, in both hands as they waddled over to the cashier and got the shock of their lives when they were handed the large check. It was only then they found out how much they had won! Wow. What a great example of beating the casinos! Unfortunately... My friend only has one story he likes to tell. All the OTHER stories are about him giving back that amount...and three times more. It reminds me of my story. It was Labor Day weekend in 1997. On Saturday, I sat numbly all day long watching college football and losing game after game. I was so out of it I actually stood and cheered for a REPLAY thinking my team had scored another touchdown of the exact same distance and by the same player. Wishful thinking. The other guys in the sportsbook just laughed at me. I meekly sat down and counted my remaining one dollar bills. Finally, I went looking for some new action. I maxed out my credit card and found a slot machine right next to the buffet line and since I had read in a book somewhere that the machines closest to where people gathered were the HOTTEST ones, I put in my money and played three dollars at a time. Within minutes I had hit three "7's" and I was ON MY WAY TO FINANCIAL FREEDOM! I kept hitting bars and then another set of "7's" and people were standing in awe watching me roll up the silver dollars. I was up over seven hundred dollars when I heard the little voice inside me say, "Don't be GREEDY!" So, I cashed out, much to the disappointment of my fans who were enduring the long line and looking for any amusing diversion. I waved at all of them and walked away. I was very proud of myself. I had won back all the money I had lost on football and then some. I was going to do something besides gamble for the rest of the evening... Except for one problem. There was nothing else to do but gamble. I was in a Nevada casino. So, I meandered back to my lucky slot machine. Within twenty minutes I had a NEW story to tell all my friends. The one that detailed how I lost $1600.00 at the same machine. As I walked to my hotel room I thought to myself, "I have had the worst day of my LIFE!" Then, I saw the news account of an accident involving Princess Diana in Paris and I heard the reporter say, "The French government is not releasing any details about her condition." I knew two things: Diana was dead and as bad as my day had been, her's had been a lot worse. The only people who had a good day were the casino owners. As usual. $1.06 billion in August, 2006. I see some things never change. Stay home, play with your kids, go out to dinner with your spouse, save the money you would have blown on gambling and buy a new dining room set. Strike a blow for healthy storytelling. ------------ About the author:   Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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