HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Oct. 4, 2006 As a long-time, if sporadic, contributor to U-K, I’ve had the pleasure of reading some outstanding, thought-provoking work by other columnists. The other end of the talent spectrum, of course, has also been well represented. Such are the drawbacks of a community e-zine like U-K. (Not a big fan of the blinking ads, either, but a brother has to make a buck.) In my three years, however, I have never seen a contributor so domineering or annoying as our Mr. Keyes. His arrogant, condescending rebuttals have boiled over from the conversation threads into full-blown columns. This has lead to, literally, articles about other people’s articles (yes, like this one, much to my dismay). Has this always been the mission statement of U-K, or has the bomb throwing now officially commandeered the nature of the site? I never thought I’d get into this mess, but I’ve had it. Mr. Keyes is clearly a bright individual and, as he is quite fond of reminding us, well traveled and a student of languages. However, he loses me when he dons this background as a mantle of op-ed superiority. He once lived outside of Houston, for example, therefore he knows all about Texas. He’s spent time in Cairo, therefore he – and he alone – is in a position to comment on geopolitics in the Middle East. You’ve been on five continents? Splendid! Keep it up. We’re all waiting with breathless anticipation for your next journal log from the fringes of the Ross Ice Shelf. This sort of “elitism by experience” makes no sense to me. I’ve never played professional football, but I know a heck of a lot about it. I’ve never been swimming in the Upper Nile with crocodiles, but I’m pretty sure it’s a bad idea. Does one need to have a leg missing to lecture on the dangers of the latter? I’ve also spent many a vacation in Texas, but would never presume to make sweeping generalizations about its inhabitants. His line of thinking also ignores the purpose of an op-ed: to express an opinion. Keyes started a rebuttal thread to an article of mine back in August in which he stated that my analogies and metaphors were “idle” and amounted to “worthless specimens of reasoning.” This is, of course, not true. If I bring Barney Fife into a column, it’s for a little effect called humor. Humor, Thomas, is often a better vehicle for making a point than endless footnotes and hyperlinks (whether people find me funny or not, of course, is a different matter). “Direct,” as you define it, translates as “dry” to me. The only things that should be dry are deserts and martinis. So, please stop with the intellectual bullying, Thomas. People come here to test their writing skills, post an opinion or short story, and maybe get a little feedback from a happy reader. And, as someone who once spent an entire paragraph ruminating over the proper use of a colloquial phrase (“to go ape”), you’ve got a lot of nerve lecturing people on the finer points of crisp, effective writing. Keep in mind that, despite the self-pronounced accolades of globetrotting and unpublished books, you’re still reduced to posting articles here with the rest of us schleps. There will be some slips in grammar here and there. Let them go. Here’s another suggestion: grab a six-pack of beer, should that be available in whatever corner of the world in which your travels find you, and rent “Stripes” (see previous condition). There’s a great line in there from Warren Oates’ character, Sgt. Hulka. ”Lighten up, Francis.” ------------ About Matthew Bastian: Recovering socialst, part-time drummer, long-suffering Brewers fan, and all-around beach hound, Mr. Bastian lives in central New Jersey. Email Matthew Bastian: mbastian19@hotmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
