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By Patrick Hurley Nov. 26, 2006 Michael Richards is not a racist against blacks. He IS a below average stand up comedian. Therein lies the problem. He was doing his mediocre act the other night and not very many people were laughing. When he heard someone yell out, "You're not funny!" He panicked and got angry. Since he perceived the hecklers to be black people he began to demean them and their social history. It was pretty ugly as many of you know by now. He used the "n" word in berating them and he even made fun of the torture their race suffered before this country passed major legislation making integration the law of the land. Had his detractors been from the Middle East, Richards might have used this commentary, "Thank you, rag heads for your insights into comedy which is something you know nothing about since you spend most of your time on airplanes flying into financial centers. Which one of you is Ali Baba or should I say, Ali BABBLE! You are not welcome in this country and we can only hope that you and your cousin, Sirhan Sirhan would shove that magic carpet up your American-hating, RFK murdering, genie in the bottle, Abracadabra A**!" Or, maybe a Hispanic hooter... "Wow, thanks for your commentary on my ability to make you laugh, greaser! Why don't you put your head a little closer to that candle on your table Jose Cuervo so we can burn this place DOWN! It's a good thing you didn't bring la familia tonight or there wouldn't be room for a white guy who may find my intelligent insights a little less intellectually overwhelming than you do. Since you don't have a green card, you should be happy you are even allowed to sit in my presence. So, keep your mouth shut until it is time for you to finish the dishes.In fact, I think I hear the manager yelling for that, "loco en la cabeza," guy now. Adios amigo!" Asian critic? "Don't you mean to say, 'you're not LUNNY?' Hooked on phonics to you clowns means a lot of L words, right? So, what country are you from? Japan? I guess you survived the poison gas in the subway but it fried your brain? Vietnam? Let me pay you a reverse compliment, I thought your war WAS hilarious! How'd you guys get over here by hanging on the skis of the helicopter? I thought we knocked all your losers off that roof? Korea? Why don't you come up here and let me nuke the slants in your eyes, dragon boys? China? To paraphrase Confucious, 'To try what is humor and not do it is the worst cowardice,' so, zip it peking ducks or your next fortune cookie will read, 'Your life will end suddenly and dramatically in a comedy club with your camera wrapped tightly around your tourist NECK! Just because Disneyland closed does not give you the right to Mickey Mouse around with me...'" Michael Richards was insulting the men who were mocking his ability to do stand-up comedy by making fun of their culture because they were making fun of his. He was a comedian on a stage. That is a strange country to be in. If you have never tried stand-up, you have little idea of how fragile you are up there. You are vulnerable and afraid if your material is not working. You are unstable if you do not have the experience or the ability to hold an audience hilariously in your hand. When someone attacks you, it is the natural response of the entertainer to lash out at them no matter what color or race they are. Had they been caucasians... "Oh, a couple of white boys don't think I'm funny? Do you understand humor? Like how funny it is when your girlfriend or wife whispers her favorite lines to you, 'It's okay, honey. It happens. A lot of men have your problem!' So, you are both feeling a little inadequate tonight and you are taking out your frustration on the comedian. Understandable. But, I could be Robin Williams or George Lopez and you would yell at them, too, because it really doesn't matter how funny WE are since you are struggling to prove your manhood to the women in your life. You guys look like you're in your 20's. What a shame. To have a body that young and not be able to use it when it counts the most. Now, THAT'S funny!" I have stand-up comedy for 35 years. I have seen my share of hecklers and I can assure you that I get angry sometimes and I DO notice what color or race they are at that moment. The things I think in my mind are not honorable but my anger or frustration is really NOT based upon their skin color or place of birth, but on my irritation that they are attacking me while I am alone on a stage. At that point, the microphone is the most powerful howitzer in the world. Combining with your instinct to survive, you can destroy an entire audience, any single member of it or....yourself. If you can pull off a response that is charming and lethally effective so the audience reacts POSITIVELY, you are not only a comedian but a great one at that moment. But, it is you against the world at that point and without thinking a lot of times....you just REACT! Before you know it, you are out of control and you have spun yourself into the darkest recess of the filthiest pool imaginable. I do NOT condone the language Michael Richards used in putting down the two hecklers. I do not believe he is a racist because of the words he said while he was out of control. I DO think he was a so-so comedian on a stage where he felt threatened and he fired back out of fear and anger and the fuel quickly became a gasoline explosion. I understand he went to Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. I would not have done so. I would have gone first to the two men who I verbally attacked, apologized and held a press conference with them and said I was sorry to America. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are two of the biggest racists in this country. They do not deserve to sit in judgment of anyone. They represent blacks as much as the Pillsbury Doughboy is a role model for white people. They are caricatures of what real statesmanship used to be. Just as Michael Richards is a below average stand-up comedian, these two Reverends are below average representatives of the Civil Rights movement. It was a very unfortunate incident with a even more pathetic follow through in trying to resolve it. But, it was not racist at its core. It was fear of inadequacy on a stage where there was no escape except to be twice as petty. Hurt people hurt people. Michael Richards now realizes that. ------------ About the author:   Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. 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