Jim

Articles

Jim

By Brian Michael Barbeito
Nov. 8, 2006

Jim sat in a gray chair and looked out the window. Some of the things he saw were outside of the window like the dull day, and the seagull that flew past. Other things out there were rooftops, and telephone poles. While staring he began to envision and intuit other things. He began to see that he was unlike other people. Other people just went through days, and were anchored to a common external reality. When examined, their inner selves were much alike. Jim, on the other hand, saw the external world the way some autistics did, and got caught up in its infinite details. The wooden planks of a fence. Brick upon red brick upon redbrick upon redbrick upon redbrick of a wall. As for his inner self, it was celebratory and terrifying both. Exalted, because he felt the beauty of the world and certain people, or things they did, immensely. Alarming, because he felt peoples’ thoughts and feelings. In sports, Jim had been taught that an opposing player could try and fake someone out with hand movement, or shoulder and head movements, or footwork, and other ways, like using trash talk. If you watched someone’s chest however, you’d see that the center of the chest could not move nearly as much. In life, as in sport, he could see whom a person really was, where the chest was at. He felt the deep illusions that people lived in, and a person or even group’s biases and motivations. This was difficult to live with, and much work to sort out. He had this knack, but could not protect himself from it properly. Jim continued to sit in his gray chair and look out of the window. He thought that people followed grooves, and that when something conflicted with their groove, they fought against it. He saw, in his mind’s eye, certain people, alone, standing on cement, in a huge spacious lot. For each one he placed there, that person was seen for what they were really up to in life. A few of the people were really dark. They were as if conniving souls, judging others, and never looking at themselves. They practiced a form of power over others, by preying in their own ways, on general goodness. Jim wondered at all of this. It was hard for him to get the evil of the world out of his mind. He felt like a beacon. He grew to accept this sensitivity, and the things it showed. It was all he could do. He then tried to transform the world; in what many would only call magical ways. He asked God to transform these things, in whatever way possible, to change them from bad to good. He asked God continually to awaken the world from its illusion. He also asked God to protect him and those he loved. He had to go deeper into the heart of things, and this would take protection, and spiritual strength too. These things and more he thought and felt, while sitting a gray chair looking out of a window.

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