"Nassholes," George W. Bush And The "Return" To The Moon

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"Nassholes," George W. Bush And The "Return" To The Moon

By Timothy N. Stelly, Sr.
May 26, 2005

Let me state quite directly that I don’t believe Americans ever set foot on the moon. Had we, I’m sure some privatized arena of the space industry would have ensued and corporate greed would have led to a new kind of gold (mineral) rush. For the record, let me state that I don’t believe the Russians had a shot at landing on the lunar surface, either.

I’m not a conspiracy theorist who believes the event was faked in some Hollywood studio. I just don’t think U.S. astronauts ever went, which might be one reason NASA wants to “return” to the lunar orb, for now we have the technological means to do so. Moreover, I believe its going to be a joint venture with China, Russia, Japan, India and the European space Agency.

President George W. Bush has convinced the “Nassholes” (a term coined by comedian George Carlin, referring to NASA scientists) that manned trips to the moon and Mars are possibilities. In fact, the President suggests a manned mission to the moon “by 2020,” and that it would be used as a “launching point” for deeper space missions, or in the President’s words, “…to Mars and to worlds beyond." The President believes the minerals in the moon could be used to fuel such trips and converted to breathable air.

Currently NASA is wasting tax dollars exploring the rings of Saturn, the make up of Pluto (which may or may not be a planet), examining the soil content of Mars and have the SOHO (the Solar and Heliospheric Observatory) project going, which is an unmanned mission to get this—the SUN! My question is “Why?” Well, according to NASA Chief Hiistorian, Steven J. Dick (No, I didn’t make up that name), “Some 140 Ph.D. theses have been written using SOHO data, and almost 300 meetings held to discuss its findings.” The best thing about SOHO I that it was built by a consortium of nine European and three U.S. corporations.

This is what NASA should become: A business entity rather than something financed by taxpayers. Let NASAs directors solicit corporate donations, since it is big business that will more than likely prosper from space research. When Bush first made his proposal to revamp NASA he asked Congress for $800 million upfront alomg with an increase in NASAs annual budget (15.5 billion), with annual increases of 5% for at least the next five years.

According to NASA, long-term exposure to radiation is a primary concern. “Among the potential risks are; detrimental effects to the central nervous system, tissues of the heart, eyes and digestive track, as well as the hazard of acute radiation sickness if an astronaut were caught in solar flare while on the lunar surface or an extravehicular activity.” [1] Even robotics and other machinery will have to have special shields attached.

Why the hell are we exploring these outer regions of the universe anyway? Its not like we’d be able to inhabit other planets any time soon. It can be a logistic nightmare to move across town, let alone across a vast region of space, ducking asteroids and God knows what else along the way.

The President believes that "We choose to explore space because doing so improves our lives and lifts our national spirit," Bush said. "So let us continue the journey." I say fine and dandy, as long as taxpayers dollars aren’t being used. If space is truly “The Final Frontier,” then we should find business people and banks willing to invest in such a risky and seemingly fruitless venture.

Sources:

1. Tariq Malik, “NASA Researchers Say Space Radiation a Top Concern for Future Manned Missions ,” SPACE.com, May 17, 2004

2. http://sohowww.nascom.nasa.gov/

3. Frank Sietzen Jr. and Keith L. Cowing, “NASA plans return to moon,” UPI, (Date unavailable)

NASA Special Publication #6107 -- Human Exploration of Mars: The Reference Mission of the NASA Mars Exploration Study Team.

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About the author: Timothy N. Stelly, Sr. is a 46-year old poet, novelist and aspiring screenwriter who resides in northern California with his three youngest children--Lawrence, Kimberly and Dante. He is a member of various writer's groups and has three novels in print, his most recent, "Like A Straight-Up Sucka," is available at www.lulu.com.

website: http://stellbreadO@tripod.com

Email: stellbread@yahoo.com

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