The Lost Boys Of Aruba

Articles

The Lost Boys Of Aruba

By Patrick Hurley
May 22, 2006

A new suspect has been arrested in the Natalee Holloway mystery. Will he be the key to solving this case? If history tells us anything about the character and integrity of the young men who have previously been questioned and/or been arrested, the answer is a resounding NO!

These boys would not recognize the truth if it bit 'em in the butt.

The new suspect's lawyer says, "My client does not know Natalee Holloway and he does not know Joran Van der Sloot!" You waited for him to continue his denials by adding, "Furthermore, he was never in a casino, he has never been in an automobile late at night, he has never heard of Aruba and he has never even had a penis!

Joran's lawyer, Joe Tacopina, contradicted the new suspect's story, "Joran knew this individual casually both from the tennis club, and from seeing him out and about in the casinos and certainly hasn't spoken to him in the last six months or so."

Contradict and deny. Deny and contradict. And a sweet girl is dead.

One lawyer says his client NEVER saw Joran or knew him. Joran's attorney said his client DID know the suspect. I think these four lying sacks of sulphur need to huddle for five minutes and get their lies straight, don't you? Does this technique of pointing fingers at each other and trying to confuse the police sound vaguely familiar? Yep. It is the old, "Who's on First?" approach to evading any personal responsibility for Natalee's disappearance and death. Let's put Joran and his mendacious little pimp boys in a cell with audio and watch the fun begin....

Joran: So, who admits to picking up Natalee at Carlos and Charlie's here?

Deepak: Not me.

Satish: I am the LITTLE brother, therefore innocent.

Nameless new suspect: Natalee was picked up at Carlos and Charlie's? Really?

Geoffrey van Cromvoirt: Who's Natalee?

Steven Croes: You guys are ALL innocent. Honest! I will back you all the way!

Joran: I kissed her, that's IT!...Well, we did do a little touching here and there...maybe.

Deepak: I wish I could have.(evilly smiling)

Joran: Yeah, then you probably would not have raped and murdered her. (laughing)

Deepak: I didn't rape and murder her. YOU did! (smiling smugly)

Joran: No, you did. (laughing)

Steven: Deepak is my friend.

Nameless new suspect: Who is Deepak? (patting him on the head)

Satish: He is the one taking the rap for Joran. (laughing)

Geoffrey: Who's Joran? (winking)

Paulus Van der Sloot: Joran is my perfect son who never lies to me. (rolls his eyes)

Joran: I don't have time for this, I have seventeen more television interviews lined up and a date with a hot blonde on the beach tonight....

Deepak: Are you gonna kill her, too? (laughing)

Joran: Up your nose with a rubber hose! (flicking snot at him)

Namless new suspect: Joran, I wish I did know you, you sound like a great guy to hang out with.

Joran: We DID hang out you moron. We just can't tell anyone we did. Geesh! Get with the program, dude...

Deepak: We all hung out. We ALL know what happened. Brothas to the end!

Steve: On my party boat!

Satish: I never hung out. I am the younger brother, therefore innocent. (smirking)

Joran: You raped her, too. (laughing)

Geoffrey: Does the blonde have a good-looking sister? A sexy cousin? A mom?

Joran: Okay, we just need to keep denying and incriminating each other. The police will get frustrated and we will all eventually go free.

Paulus: No honesty, no CASE!

Geoffrey: What's honesty?

Deepak: Something Joran doesn't understand.

Joran: Murderer! (laughing again)

Nameless new suspect: This name calling actually works?

Joran: Heck yeah! Just let them bring you back to Aruba and we can all party and lie and keep having fun with the dumbest and most corrupt police force in the history of civilized man!

Nameless new suspect: So, you guys all secretly like each other?

Joran: Absolutely. We are the Pimp Brothas! Women do not have a CHANCE with us...

Deepak: Especially after we drug 'em and gang up on them.

Satish: Will I get the crap kicked out of me if I tell anyone what really happened?

Joran, Deepak, Geoffrey, Steve, Nameless new suspect and Paulus: (in unison) YES!

Satish: (giggling)

Paulus: Okay, do all you boys have your stories confusing?

Joran: We do, papa.

Paulus: Good. Now get out there and keep up the good work. Make me proud. Like me, you are all going to make great lawyers someday!

Nameless new suspect: I feel relieved. For a while there, I thought I was in trouble!

Joran: (laughing) You're only in trouble if you have a soul. Always remember that.

Deepak, Satish, Steve, Paulus, Geoffrey and Nameless new suspect: (in unison) What's a SOUL?!!

All of them sit there staring at each other speechless.

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About the author: Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California.

Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net

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