HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
 By Argile Stox May 21, 2006 Today, Tracy’s stepfather buried his father. It was a sad day. However, the service at the church went well and we went to the cemetery to pay our final respects. The entire family and his late father’s friends then went back to the church and we were treated to cake and coffee. Tracy’s stepfather and his father’s widow appeared to have some sort of closure at the church ceremony, the ceremony by the grave, and the coffee and cake that was served in the basement of the church. The entire family then retreated to the ranch that Tracy’s mother and stepfather own. Everyone changed out of their “Sunday going to Church” clothes, and we all stood around in a circle and talked about the events of the day. There was laughter, tall stories were being told, and there were a few tears shed. However, at the end of the day – everyone seemed to be back to their normal mental state. We then left the ranch and Tracy decided to stop by her father and stepmothers’ house to have a short visit. The weather report called for severe thunderstorms and Tracy hates to drive at night –especially, during a rainstorm. It started raining as we approached the house and dodged raindrops as we entered the house. After about a half an hour of chitchat, Tracy’s step-mom asked, “So, Argile –how are you feeling?” I raised my hand and gave her the “half and half” hand movement. I then began to tell her about my latest visit to the veteran’s hospital. A few months ago, the doctors said that my white counts were high and that I may have a slight case of “Leukemia.” I looked at the doctor and said, “That is like having a slight case of an athlete’s foot infection.” And then two weeks ago, I had a second blood test done –and now it appears that my white blood cell count and my red blood cell count were low. Dangerously low. All the doctor can say is that I am anemic. When Tracy’s step-mother heard that diagnosis she said, “That sounds like you are a little bit pregnant!” Well, we all broke out with laughter. This week, I had blood drawn and made an appointment with my primary care Physician, the second week in June. If you are an avid reader of my articles on U-K, you are well aware of my present physical condition. It appears that I may have to go for a bone marrow removal sometime in the future. On top of everything else, I need a diagnosis of leukemia like another hole in my head. Tracy is of the opinion that all I need is a few pills to boost up my white and red blood cells. As I’ve told Tracy many times, I prepare for the worst and hope for the best. However, I want to make it perfectly clear (and I have told Tracy this) that if the diagnosis comes back after the bone marrow removal –that I have leukemia, the only thing I want to know is how much time I have left. I completely refuse to go through chemotherapy treatments. My sister worked in a children’s cancer ward as she was preparing to get her Ph.D. She would tell me how the children suffered through chemotherapy, and some did not make it. My sister even went to the funerals of some of the children who had died from cancer. This is my opinion. It is my opinion based on new advances in treatment of leukemia and survival rates. It just appears to me that you go through chemotherapy and vomit, trying to buy time. An individual spends time taking the treatment, to buy more time. I just feel that chemotherapy and all the side effects are just postponing the inevitable. I don’t really care about losing my hair and all the rest of this stuff that happens when you are getting this therapy. However, I am not going to have Tracy watch me deteriorate before her eyes. When we began our relationship, she did not sign up to take care of a 51 year old, New Yorker who may have Leukemia. She was fully aware of my back problem when we began our relationship. In addition, her children do not need to see me turn into a bald-headed shell of a man. I just need a diagnosis from the VA and I'll take it from there. At the time of this writing, I look like a strong robust man. Since my heart attack in December of 2005 and the Stent implantation in one of the arteries of my heart in January 2006 – I have lost about 32lbs. I still look OK; I shaved my beard and retained my mustache. Besides all the problems I have with my back, I am doing OK. Dear Reader, you may be saying to yourself, “This guy is out of his mind and he’s giving up!” Well, I would think the same thing. However, you are not living my life and not walking in my shoes. I am just so damn tired of everything that is malfunctioning in my body, and I just do not want to put it through any more of abuse. Enough is enough –already. On Monday, I have to call my doctor and get the results of my blood test. At which point I will have at least an idea what my future holds. Meanwhile, I try to devote at least two hours per day rewriting my book. It keeps my mind off my present physical condition and the anticipation of talking to my doctor and getting the results of my blood tests. This summer, God willing – Tracy and I are going to take little mini-vacations and I am going to explore the Black Hills of South Dakota –maybe a picnic or two, and some other stuff I have been looking forward to seeing. Tracy and I are going to “Do” South Dakota and maybe take a trip out of State. Let me make one thing perfectly clear, I am not depressed. I will accept whatever diagnosis the doctor at the VA comes up with. I am educated enough to know what to expect if I have leukemia, and will roll with the punches. Unless someone can convince me that the type of leukemia I may have is completely curable, I will just go on with my life to the end. Besides, the VA will load me up with a truck full of pain medication to keep me comfortable as the disease progresses. I have lived a good life. I have had my share of pain and misery –like everyone else. The one thing that aggravates me is that I have finally found the woman who I really love and we are on the same wavelength. Tracy is a wonderful, loyal, generous, beautiful woman. If the diagnosis comes back bad, Tracy and I will deal with it. If the diagnosis comes back good, we have nothing to worry about. Right now, it is a 50/50 shot. I have been really tired and have been sleeping about eighteen hours a day. Even when I sleep well, I wake up exhausted. Usually, when I have a high protein meal such as a nice thick medium rare steak, barbecued chicken, or fish –I get a rush of energy. As of late, that does not happen anymore. I was aware that my body needed to adjust to all of the heart medications and pain medications that I am taking for my back. I had thought that after taking the medications for over eight months, my body would have acclimated to the daily pill regimen. However, for the past week, I have been falling asleep watching TV, and can hardly keep my eyes open as I edit my book. It just feels like all of my energy is being flushed down the toilet. I know that something serious is going on in my body, when I don’t get the usual “jolt” from a cup of coffee. I just feel – bland. (The VA has already informed me that I have not met the criteria for a back operation. I was advised by my doctor at the VA to seek out an orthopedic surgeon and neurologist at the Rapid City Regional Hospital who accepts Medicare. The VA we’ll gladly send copies of all my medical reports, X-Rays, MRI’s, and etcetera to the future doctor(s) so that they can determine whether or not I meet the criteria to remove two herniated discs, bone spurs, and everything else that is wrong with my back.) It has been exactly one year since I first contacted the VA concerning my back problem. Now one year later, I am told that I do not meet the criteria for a back operation. I have done everything they have told me to do. I have been poked, prodded, examined, and it was all a waste of time. However, at least I have all the documentation that can be sent to the new doctor(s). Again, I will repeat –I am not depressed. I have just cleared one hurdle with the VA, and now I have to begin a search to find a doctor who will operate on my back and accepts Medicare. At the time of this writing, I am going on the assumption that I do not have the leukemia –and will concentrate on rewriting my book and researching doctors to fix my back. Tracy has been a solid rock through this entire VA process and always tries to bring a smile to my face. I love her very much! She will begin her three month vacation from her teaching duties in the first week of June, and then she can accompany me to the hospital and talk to the doctors. Tracy is not very happy with the VA. I want Tracy to be fully informed as to my physical condition and what can be done to improve my physical condition, so that we can get on with our lives. Well, that is all I know for now. Please do me a favor. Before you start jamming my e-mail with the pros and cons of chemotherapy –I thank you in advance. However, I have done the research. I know what to expect. And I accept the fact that if my bone marrow removal test comes back positive for leukemia, I will prepare myself for the inevitable. I will prepare Tracy for the inevitable. That is all I can do. I am not going to waste the precious time I have on this earth getting chemotherapy treatments, throwing up, losing my hair, and all of the rest of the side effects that go along with the treatment. I have made that decision, and do not believe that I will deviate from that decision. In the meantime, I will still be writing articles about things happening in my life, and or opinions that I may have about –Everything! LOL! ------------ Email Argile Stox: argilestox@gmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
