HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
May 21, 2006 I am the worst speller in the world. If you take that for its face value then my spelling is not worth a dime. I type almost seventy five words per minutes which would explain the mistakes I make. I never proof read anything I do and let spell check do the work which is another mistake within my mistakes. I found that spell check has changed all of my ands to anf, and or anf , I can tell you that anf is not even a word. Grammar is a specialty of mine but when I am telling a story, I tend to try and make the story real as possible. People usually don't say things like "It's a far, far better thing I do then I have ever done before." I think in this day and age we are better off saying "Hey, I am patting myself on the back here." Words are important but to make things funny I like phonetics or puns even though readers do not, ha ha. I am kidding of course. I will admit that using more words then the story needs is another flaw of mine but I like to explain things thoroughly. Oh sure, I can express myself in the elegant style in which most readers are accustom to but I choose to say things as I think things. For example I probably should write "Oh, your mind is a world of wonderment and makes you sexier then the prettiest model in the world." I would choose to say "Hey, what cha thinkin babe?" Hey I never said I was a Shakespeare or a Keats, but I do try. I received a letter tonight via e-mail saying and I quote "So you call yourself a writer?" I responded which is against my policies in life because it doesn't matter what people think of you but more importantly what you think of yourself." Oh my, wasn't that elegant? I think it is important doing what you love throughout your lifetime. I chose comedy at the ripe old age of twelve and have been trying it for that many years. It is my thinking that got me this far. I am not here to judge but to see how others do their thing. If others hate what I do then so be it but I love what I do, so there. I can tell you lots of what I learned through story telling. For instance, want to know how you get a fat lady into bed? Piece of cake. Did you also know that all men are created equal? It's what you do with that equality after you get it that's the problem. Sure I know many things, I can pass on like, if you put a hundred alka seltzers in a tub with your sister in it she will lose ten pounds. And why is the humane society getting involved with the youth in Asia? Ok That was silly but that's what I do. I am better when I am spontaneous, so I write the same way. I said before, that I never proff reed anyting I right no matter how wrong it is to do that. I know repeating myself is another fault of mine and it is also redundant, uncalled for as well as unneeded. Hey, I am not flawless and neither is anyone put on this earth. I read many writers who make mistakes and when I see them it really doesn't matter as long as I laugh, cry, I know what they mean in what they are trying to say. In closing, that letter writer that said "And you call yourself a writer?" I will respond once more by saying "no sir, I don't call myself a writer, others do. Others like the New York Times, the Greenville News, The Daily buzz news program who read my stuff from time to time, three books I have written as well as gracing the stage here at Useless Knowledge and for that I thank you all. Man oh man, I can be elegant when I want to be. ------------ About the author: Bob D Caterino is a writer that we all either hate or love. His work can be found at http://www.ebookmall.com/ebook/163906-ebook.htm. My website: www.geocities.com/bdcaterino I found this fan site aimed towards me: http://www.geocities.com/goombabobby He hopes the death threats will stop. Its only words he uses. Laugh and lighten up will ya? Email: VitoGoomba@aol.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
