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May 16, 2006 One mans junk is another man’s treasures but one man’s junk is a woman's worst nightmare. Women like a clean house with no clutter, or should I say no clutter but their own. I new a man that brought home a round piece of wood about forty inches in circumference. It sat on a turntable and all it did was spin. The man thought it would make a nice table for his back porch but the woman hated the thing. It looked old but no one knew what it was. I asked the man where he found it. He told me that an office in New York that was remodeling had it in the trash. He added that the old tenants were King Features syndicate a cartoon company. He also informed me that his wife was making him toss the eyesore. I knew something about King Syndicate formally known as Famous Studios and before that Max Fleisher Studios Max Fleisher was the man who made all those old Popeye and Betty Boops as well as many classic three dimensional cartoons. I told him that Max Fleisher used that same turn table for his craft. He would set up a scene on it and shoot it spinning the turntable one small turn with each cell shot. The information may be from memory so don't shoot me for being slightly inaccurate. I also had a few items I thought would be worth something some day. Every time I ask her where something of mine went she answers "I Donno." I had a old Hot Point iron made in 1911. I had a suit I used in a television show when I used to do my "Groucho (Stretch) Marx impression and I had a shadow box from the movie FIST starring Sylvester Stallone, well two out of three aint bad. Men are hunters; we hunt things to bring home. Women are cleaners, they keep the home clean of man’s hunting junk "Honey, Where did my original recording of Enrico Caruso go, have you seen it?" "Oh you mean that old thing? "I through it out along with your Lincoln letter and your dusty Picasso, why?" "Just asking." Men are allowed one item and that's usually well hidden in the back of the garage somewhere. Get some grape juice on the comforter that was handed down to her and you might find yourself sleeping with the dogs tonight. It is funny that I said blanket because when I was twelve my mother, myself and my cousin went to the beach. This beach had a boardwalk with rides. My cousin and I went to go on some rides and my mother gave me the blanket to hold. What kid do you know wants to walk around having fun dragging a blanket around with them besides linus of course. I tossed the blanket into the trash and caught hell for it. "That blanker was a wedding gift. It is over thirty years old." I just told her it was time to buy a new one. I think I played the "I must have forgot it somewhere ploy." Well it is all relative and I do believe that it should be ac compromise what we get to keep and what they want us to keep. Just when that old pair of sneakers get broken in to where you want them you come home to find a brand new pair sitting in the living room. "Where are my good sneakers? Honey, honey?" I am kidding so please don't take this to heart. I really don't care for these old material things more then my wife. I don't care about my complete 1960's album collection or my rare coins, or my autographed picture of Janice Joplin with Jimi Hendrix or my eight by ten picture of me with Mohammad Ali or my Autographed Babe Ruth Uniform. These things don't really matter to me as long as she is happy that son of a b!tch. "Hey baby look what I found in the trash today........ ------------ About the author: Bob D Caterino is a writer that we all either hate or love. His work can be found at http://www.ebookmall.com/ebook/163906-ebook.htm. My website: www.geocities.com/bdcaterino I found this fan site aimed towards me: http://www.geocities.com/goombabobby He hopes the death threats will stop. Its only words he uses. Laugh and lighten up will ya? Email: VitoGoomba@aol.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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