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 By Patrick Hurley May 13, 2006 I saw a preview of OJ Simpson's new reality show. Fortunately, the guy remains classless and clueless. I guess all the drugs he is taking have finally kicked in... He was televised comically "pitching" a white Ford Bronco at a used car lot remarking shamelessly, "It was good for me--it helped me get away." Move over, Chris Rock. Here comes the REAL comedian of the hip crowd. It would be a lot funnier if Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman were still alive. He also poses as a pizza delivery man which begs the question, "Will he re-enact the night of the double murder dressed in a Domino's shirt as his way of faking out Nicole and getting her to open the door?" What a clever fellow the Juice is, huh? I wonder if his DVD will include, "How to commit a murder just prior to leaving town," "The Joys of practicing your Golf game late at Night!" and, "If the Jury is full of SH**, they will ACQUIT!" While we are on the subject of reality shows, maybe we need to include some other newsworthy examples with the same type of ghastly chutzpah as they mock their victims and the frustrated legal authorities who lacked the evidence to pin them down. Robert Blake. "My Wife the Car!" A series of sketches featuring Robert as he revisits the dumpster which shielded his car (and his soon to be dead wife) from the public view. He could explain to all of us viewers WHY he didn't just park in front of the restaurant to retrieve his gun instead of finding the darkest place on the planet earth. Michael Jackson. "Michael's Slumber Party!" See Michael buying refreshments at the liquor store. View Michael carefully choose his sleepover entertainment at Wanda's Fantasy World." Watch Michael play fun games with his pre-teen boy guests..."spin the bottle," "post office" and, a visit from the DOCTOR!" Features a cameo appearance by Elizabeth Taylor who will supply, "The Best of Rock Hudson's Pool Parties!" Scott Peterson. "A Calculating Husband's Guide to the Evils of Pregnancy." From his jail cell, Scott reaches out to all the narcissistic men out there who have recently found out their stupid wives are now expecting a baby and how to, "deal with them" so this unwanted intrusion does not ruin their hopes for freedom forever. Supplements include, "How NOT to hire an idiot like Mark Geragos," "Why Bleach ROCKS!" and, "Never go fishing on Christmas Eve." Premeires on the new Sociopath Channel in September. (Pat's note: Yeah, I KNOW he got convicted, but I was on a ROLL here!) Joran Van der Sloot. "The Pimp Boys Passion Pit!" See clips of Joran's sexual escapades as he proves what a hot hunk he is with the girls, (especially those who are date-raped drugged) and who joyfully accede to all his wild and crazy demands! Learn to love the Paradise of Aruba as you watch Joran and his brothas take on one babe after another, callously ditching them on the sand or in the middle of the ocean. This DVD also includes special features such as, "Dumb blonde American tourists," "Live the Magic at Carlos and Charlies," and, "The Power of the, 'I have NO idea,'" Defense. Since we cannot get most of these sickos legally, we can get our revenge by hurting them in another way. Don't watch their television show. ------------ About the author: Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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