How To Dress To Embarrass Your Ten-Year-Old

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How To Dress To Embarrass Your Ten-Year-Old

By Kaycee Nilson
Mar. 26, 2006

Pick any day that your child is not expecting you at school for a meeting or any other business, but that is the day you do the following…..

Now, the following outfit will surely embarrass your child to make up for all the times your child has embarrassed you in public.

First, take foam curlers and curl your hair in such a manner that the ends of it are sticking straight out in all directions. Put on a gaudy shade of red, I prefer Remmel’s Volume Boost in the “Parade” shade as this leaves HUGE kiss marks on your child’s face as you leave. Pick your rattiest looking outfit and wear house-shoes. You could also curl your hair in a manner that you could wear a baseball cap that is your favorite.

Show up at the school and explain to your office personnel that you are there to make sure your child is participating in class. Most schools allow parents to visit their child’s class. Burst through the door and immediately go over to your child and kiss them on the face. Then march over to the teacher’s desk and plant yourself. Wave at the other kids in the class, answer the questions that the teacher asks the students. Ask the teacher to see a sampling of your child’s work and then exclaim loudly over missed or wrong work.

By this time, your child will have their head on the desk and trying to hide under the desk or their arms. Reach into your purse and pull out a lunch bag and say in a loud voice, “Oh honey, you forgot your lunch.” Then when your child asks you what you brought, state loudly that you brought their favorite lunch, tuna fish with apples in the tuna.

Trust me, embarrassing your child is fun and it breaks up the monotony of the day!

Have fun!

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About the author: Kaycee Nilson has completed her first novel, "Night Falls on Chicago." The first two chapters can be viewed at http://www.KayceeNilson.com.

Besides writing columns for Useless-Knowledge, Kaycee is currently working on two more novels, "From the Mind of a Vampire", and "I'll Love You Til You Die."

If you have enjoyed what you read, or would like to leave Kaycee a message, please visit her message board at http://www.KayceeNilson.com/Board

Email: Kaycee@kayceenilson.com

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