Late Night Commercials

Articles

Late Night Commercials

By Kaycee Nilson
Mar. 16, 2006

Wednesday, March 16, 2006, I watched the “David Letterman” show because Matt Stone and Trey Parker (Co-creators of the hit TV Show South Park which airs on Comedy Central) were to be guests on the show.

I swear that for every 30 seconds of segments, there were 3 full minutes of commercials. Matt & Trey’s segment was about 2 1/2 minutes long. Dave would ask them a question and if they didn’t fire off an answer right away, he would go on to another question.

I want to know why are commercials late at night are more important than the guests that obviously the production staff went through to get to agree to even appear on the show.

Now I know why I watch so many DVD’s and movies. No commercials. I don’t need someone on the television telling me that “Tide To Go” is so important about motherhood. I don’t need to know why the Lincoln Town and Country is the best mini-van and I don’t need what are the best leak-guard diapers.

I feel that I am somewhat intelligent, so why do I need the Advertising Moguls of America try to make me feel bad about myself because I don’t serve Kool-Aid with sugar, I serve it with Splenda instead. I guess that Ad agencies don’t recognize parents with children that have AD/HD.

Also, which product really makes your teeth white? Which one lasts longer? I want to know why the Advertising Media Moguls have, since the advent of television, have created commercials aimed at women to tell us if we don’t use this detergent our family’s clothing will be dingy. What cleaning product we use affects how much our family loves us. And if you are too tired to create something fancy for dinner, there’s always “Hamburger Helper.” Why I was helping hamburger before that product came out.

And sorry Tide, but your detergent makes me and my youngest child break out. Febreeze, sorry gang but it makes my cat sneeze. Even for the most non-allergenic products someone in my home will be allergic to it.

I guess that is what the medical profession would determine as “sensitive skin.”

I have to use glycerin soap or Ivory. Because of my soaps, my men in my house have to use the same products or I can not be near them until they are dirty. But by then, they will smell like corn chips and I’d rather take my chances with Irish Spring.

And some of the medical commercials are for medications but rarely do they tell you what the commercial or the medication is for. Those commercials make me mad.

What commercials I miss are the fake ones that Saturday Night Live was the best ones in the world. Especially the second and third seasons. I think that the fake commercials for fake products would move me more to buy a log for the kids to play with other than the biggest Pooh Bear toy out there.

Until Corporate Moguls realize that they do not need to dumb-down America and just tell us the truth, then you won’t have men in the detergent aisle wondering what laundry soap his wife told him to get. And 80% of the time, they don’t bother to look at the coupon or use it.

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About the author: Kaycee Nilson has completed her first novel, "Night Falls on Chicago." The first two chapters can be viewed at http://www.KayceeNilson.com.

Besides writing columns for Useless-Knowledge, Kaycee is currently working on two more novels, "From the Mind of a Vampire", and "I'll Love You Til You Die."

If you have enjoyed what you read, or would like to leave Kaycee a message, please visit her message board at http://www.KayceeNilson.com/Board

Email: Kaycee@kayceenilson.com

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