HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Mar. 15, 2006 My name is Lawrence Malcolm bennington Gump the fourth, I am kin to Forrest Gump and I think it is time you heard my views on politics. I know I am good at talking politics because no one ever argues with me, ever. Well join me through the journey of my walk through the presidents in a story I like to call "My walk through the presidents." Demarcates and republicans, what can I say. I am not a student of politics but I have been around. I will now tell you everything I seen since the beginning of time and that means since I was born. I sat through the "I like Ike" years Kennedy's bath at the "Bay of Pigs" Johnson's Barbecues, Nixon's orchestration of "The Watergate break-ins", Fords, Falling down fiascoes, Carters huge teeth, Reagan's video game and red hair, Bush's "1000 points of light" and "Little Brown Ones" B. J. Clinton's BJ and Bush's vendetta. Whoosh I am getting old. Now forgive me all you hard core politic addicts if I get a few facts wrong because I am doing this by memory. It was the persona that grabbed us and made us stay with some of them and the lack of that made us turn like three day old peas. I was way too young to talk about Ike so I will start with Kennedy. We, who were there, saw this man strive to put a man into space and that was Johnson. (Rim shot) The point is that Kennedy was out there ranting and raving trying to stir up the country and make Americans stand up and cheer. Some where along the lines one of the rat pack was a brother in law of our fine president and after Robert started going after the mob John was shot and then Robert. I think they should have stuck with politics and what they did best, Marylyn. We only found out about the Marylyn Monroe documents some thirty years later. Johnson steps in for the assassinated president then the fireworks begin. We blame him for the Vietnam War which to my knowledge was started during Ike's administration. All the heat was on Johnson now and I am not talking about the conflict but all those great barbeques he threw. He was the man. He was the big Johnson and along with the first lady, his wife Ladybird helped spread joy and barbeque sauce all over this country. Now, in steps Nixon and all I can remember about this guy was that he had the personality of a rock. He was found guilty of breaking into the Watergate hotel trying to spy on the man running against him in the up coming election. He is never credited for withdrawing a hell of a lot of our boys out of Viet Nam. After Nixon was impeached, Ford stepped in and then fell down and he fell down a lot. After Ford came Carter, Jimmy carter, shaken not stirred. Jimmy as I recall had a huge set of teeth and stopped daylight savings time for a while just long enough for the North to be sending there kids home from school in the dark. Due to the energy crises at that time, Jimmy thought it best to tamper with time management. Now another crisis was afoot. Iran was holding Americans hostage for almost a year. Jimmy tried his best but his plan didn't work and that's when Reagan stepped in. On his first day in office he got our people home. Wow, he was like superman with that red hair being his power source. Reagan also got a computer wiz that created an elaborate video game and called it star wars. It showed how we would be able to intercept missiles if they were to head our way and blow them into space before they hit home. The Russians saw this game and believed this to be real and dismantled all their missiles. He then made the Russians tear down the Berlin wall dividing East and West Berlin. He was a maniac for the people by the people and he even looked through the peephole every once in a while. At the end of his eight year term in office he was under fire for trading weapons for hostages. Reagan told him his memory did not serve him well anymore and the courts believed him. Now George Bush gets his mitts on the office of the presidency. He was our vice for eight years and the Reagan Whitehouse was on a roll. He was so bland until Sadim started his BS. Bush blew a few rounds of missiles at his homeland and then stopped. I guess it was a warning shot of sorts. More like fifty five billion dollars worth of warning shots. Now Bush was up against Clinton and it was on. Clinton reminded the country of Kennedy and won by a narrow margin. Clinton was sly and charismatic and ate a lot of junk food. He loved a good cigar and with his woman by his side took the country by storm. Oh yeah he was also married to a woman named Hillary and she had very thick ankles. Clinton was famous for coining the phrase "That's not sex" and "I didn't have sex with that woman, or that woman, or that one, or that one." After showing the country he knew how to play the Sex, I mean Sax he also should us he also could play his whoremonica. Hey we all have found our jobs stressful and B.J. Clinton just found his way of destressitizing. Now the son of Bush enters the playing field. He would win the election, running against Gore by a narrow margin. Gore wanted a recount and Bush then won by a decision or a knockout. He then started talking to his dad who told him many things about Sadam. Putting away his bongs and such and being advised not to say things like groovy, what's your bag dad, and twenty three skidoo, G.W.Bush thought "Hey if blowing up that country was good enough for my dad then it is good enough for me." He started blowing up Baghdad where his father left off. One thing he didn't count on and that he was not his father. He even tried taking up cigar smoking but he didn't like the taste or the smell. Three years later we are still killing and being killed over there. That’s all I have to say about that. I know you all need aspirin now so I will sign off now but I wont, instead I will sign my own name. ------------ About the author: Bob D Caterino is a writer that we all either hate or love. His work can be found at http://www.ebookmall.com/ebook/163906-ebook.htm. My website: www.geocities.com/bdcaterino I found this fan site aimed towards me: http://www.geocities.com/goombabobby He hopes the death threats will stop. Its only words he uses. Laugh and lighten up will ya? Email: VitoGoomba@aol.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
