No, You Cannot Have A Monkey!

Articles

No, You Cannot Have A Monkey!

By Kaycee Nilson
Mar. 14, 2006

My oldest son has been bothering us for days. He wants a baby spider monkey. I tried to explain to him how the cat would eat the monkey, but I don’t think I got the point across.

The child refuses to brush his teeth or pick up after himself, but he’s convinced that if he had a monkey, he could take care of it. I say we try him with a Guinea Pig first and see how long it takes for the Guinea Pig to die or for me to step in and take over the care of this animal.

The monkey experiment will end up just like the fish. If I don’t take care of it, it dies. Right now we have a cat and if I don’t throw a hissy fit, I start doing the chore right away that makes both Dan and Greg mad at me.

But if these rotten kids would just take care of their pet responsibilities, I’m liable to end up with a zoo. But nooooo, I have to take care of the pet or it will bite the dust. That’s why we only have one pet.

I love animals; it’s just that I am tired of having to be the one that takes responsibility for them. My kids drag in everything from bugs found outside to finding Stewart from my close friend.

Now the boys are on a new kick. They want a baby sister! With my back, can you just imagine me being pregnant with my forth child? I can’t, that’s for sure. My already limited life would have more limits. And a baby isn’t a dog or a monkey that they can take out in the backyard and teach it to catch a Frisbee in her mouth.

What would the boys call their sister, Fido or Spot? Knowing my luck, they will name the baby “Monkey.”

Oh well. Anyone want two slightly used boys, one is housebroken and the other still has accidents.

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About the author: Kaycee Nilson has completed her first novel, "Night Falls on Chicago." The first two chapters can be viewed at http://www.KayceeNilson.com.

Besides writing columns for Useless-Knowledge, Kaycee is currently working on two more novels, "From the Mind of a Vampire", and "I'll Love You Til You Die."

If you have enjoyed what you read, or would like to leave Kaycee a message, please visit her message board at http://www.KayceeNilson.com/Board

Email: Kaycee@kayceenilson.com

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