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 By Argile Stox Mar. 11, 2006 Well, I’m listening to the 10:00pm news on channel Ten, “News Center One” broadcast from Rapid City, South Dakota. As you’re well aware I am from New York City and it was quite an adjustment to get used to watching the local news broadcasts in Rapid City, South Dakota. As a child in New York before I left for kindergarten my mother would have the television on at 5:00 in the morning. Sometimes, I would watch the farm report with her before I went to school. However, sometime in the late nineteen sixties they canceled the farm report and I never really gave much thought to the absence of the program. So now I am settled in South Dakota and watching the local news. And guess what, they sometimes have a farm report. No matter how much things change, things remain the same. In fact, I sometimes see commercials for an antibiotic solution advertised on the television to cure some sort of disease in cattle. I don’t know what the disease is; they don’t give the information about the disease in the commercial. They just say, “Use this stuff and it will cure what ails the cattle.” Exciting, isn’t it? Also, the news anchors that are at the helm of the local news desk appear really young. There is one female news anchor who hails from the Great State of Florida. Another news anchor looks like he just graduated from high school. Don’t get me wrong, these young anchors are doing a great job delivering the news to the people of the Great State of South Dakota. It’s just a culture shock from watching the seasoned “been there done that” newscasters in New York, to watching young broadcasters get their start in newsrooms here in South Dakota. And one thing I really enjoy about watching these young news anchors - is the banter between them and their sense of humor. When they flub up a line, they correct it and move on. The funny thing is that if one of the anchors does not say the word correctly it is like a disease that affects everyone in the newsroom.. It is so funny to see an anchor screw up a line, correct it and go on. Then in the next segment the next anchor does the same thing. Even the weather guy gets tongue-tied every so often. Watching the local news in Rapid City, South Dakota, is a blast. The local newscast reminds me that we are all human and make mistakes. I thought I’d share with you a funny incident that occurred at the local Wal-Mart. Our vacuum cleaner decided to die. So Tracy & I drove down to the local Wal-Mart and made our way into the vacuum cleaner section. I saw a guy lifting a vacuum cleaner box, and asked, “So, what brings you into the vacuum cleaner section?” “Well, both of our vacuum cleaners died today and we needed to buy another one.” I looked at the vacuum he was purchasing and it was the one that you had to replace the bags all the time, just like our old vacuum cleaner. “Why are you buying one that requires you to replace the vacuum bags all the time?” He looked at me for a moment and said, “Consumer Report’s rated this vacuum cleaner as the Best-Buy.” Meanwhile, his wife was bored to death listening to our conversation. We had a frank discussion about how our vacuum cleaners died on the same day. I told him that I was buying a vacuum cleaner that does not require bags. I also told him that I knew it was a messy problem to empty the vacuum cleaner canister, because the dust and dirt flies all over the place, when you empty the contents of the canister in the trash can. I had a solution for that problem: I will just empty the canister in the trash can outside. I was tired of hunting around for vacuum cleaner bags to fit the old vacuum. The guy listened very intensely as I described the differences between the vacuum cleaners that had the bags and the vacuum cleaners without the bag. Meanwhile, his wife was clutching the well worn issue of Consumer Reports and couldn’t wait for our discussion to end. I would have bet Tracy $10.00 that if the guy’s wife was not there, he would have bought a vacuum cleaner that did not require bags. Our conversation ended a short time later, and we shook hands. He and his wife went on their merry way and purchased a vacuum cleaner that requires bags for about $100.00. Meanwhile, I was looking at all the bag-less vacuum cleaners and came upon one that was about $55.00. It was manufactured by a company called “Dirt Devil,” bag-less, and was lightweight. After picking up a few more items, we finally checked out our stuff at the cash register and went home. It was like Christmas. There I was, opening up a box excited about trying out a new vacuum cleaner. OK, I fully agree that I need a life. After taking out the parts of the vacuum cleaner from the box, assembling the vacuum cleaner, I plugged it in. The vacuum cleaner was very quiet and easy to manipulate. I have heard a great deal about the new cyclonic-air feature of bag-less vacuum cleaners. I then began to vacuum the living room. Geez! I could not believe how that new vacuum cleaner picked up all of the stuff that was buried in the carpet. After about fifteen minutes I had to empty the canister. So I took it outside, and emptied the contents of the canister into the trash bin. Yeah, there was a lot of dust that flew around. I didn’t care. I was outside! I replaced the canister back into the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed the area that was just cleaned. The vacuum cleaner picked up more stuff that was hiding in the carpet. I then handed the vacuum cleaner to Tracy and she began to vacuum a different area of the house. She also emptied the vacuum canister in a trash bin outside. She said there was no problem, and went back to vacuuming the rest of the house. By now, Dear Reader –you must be wondering why I am making such a big deal about buying and using a new vacuum cleaner. Well, I will tell you why I am making such a big deal - The last vacuum cleaner we had would break down every other day. I would have to hunt around in stores that carried the bags of our old vacuum, and order the belts for the vacuum cleaner from the Ace Hardware store in town; and then wait about a week for them to arrive at the store. It was such a pleasure to have a vacuum cleaner that works, not having to hunt around for vacuum cleaner bags, and worrying if the belts will break in the next five minutes (I also purchased belts, to be on the safe side – LOL!). It really does not take that much to make Tracy and me happy. So now when I decide to vacuum the house, or Tracy decides to vacuum the house –we don’t have to worry about the vacuum cleaner breaking down again, and again. I am aware that this article is rather mundane. However, I thought it would be a good change of pace from what I have been writing about lately. Even the simplest mundane activity can be funny. An odd event happening in your life that you did not expect to happen - could also be funny. Writing articles on U-K does not always have to be so damn serious. Think about it; during the course of the day something happens in your life. It could be funny, it could be very embarrassing, and or it can make you so damn angry that you want to spit nails.. Don’t hold it in, share it with us. We can all use a good laugh or cry every once in awhile. Has anyone ever told you, or have you ever read something in a newspaper about an occurrence which reminded you of an event that happened to you and had a good laugh about it? Have you ever decided to buy something and then read about it in a magazine and or talked to someone that warned you against purchasing it, and you decided to buy something else? Tell us about it! I believe it was Shakespeare that said, “Life is a stage and we are all actors on it.” I learn new things every day. I search the web, I read magazines, I watch the news on television, and listen to stories that people have the need to tell. I always learn something new. It is my opinion that when you are about to die, God has determined that you have learned everything that there is in the world to know, or you know too damn much. Therefore, it’s just a waste of time to have you on planet earth, because you know everything. OK, I know that the last statement was a stretch. However, Mark Twain was quoted as saying, “You learn all your life, and you still die ignorant.” On that note, I will end this rather boring, uninteresting, uninformative, and dull article. However, the next time you are in the market for a new vacuum cleaner, maybe the information contained in this article will assist you in making a well informed decision. That is all I know for now, have a great day! ------------ Email Argile Stox: argilestox@gmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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