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Mar. 7, 2006 Recently I tried to quit smoking again. This time I think I lasted three days before I beat up my personal assistants brother for one cigarette. I horded that cigarette all day long, I would hold it under my nose and just do nothing more than smell it until after dinner and I wanted just a drag or two. Dan caught me and the look of disappointment on his face made me feel as bad as if I had taken a punch to the gut. But I really just am not ready to stop yet and you know what they say about recovering addicts. Until they want to quit, no one can make them. An alcoholic can go into 15 different rehab clinics to try to stop drinking, but unless they want it for themselves, they will not stop drinking. The same is true with Cigarette Smokers that have been smoking for a long time. In my quest, I have tried to quit cold turkey, the patch, the Welbutrin medication, the gums, the longenzes and even cold turkey. Nothing so far as helped. Dan and my friends are all behind me saying that I am a strong woman and I can get this habit kicked. Maybe they are right and I am wrong. But I just can’t quit the cigarette monkey. I even tried hypnosis, but all I got was the desire to stop drinking Starbucks coffee. Others in my situation that I personally know have been able to walk off from the cigarettes and never pick up another one again. I wish I had their strength; maybe all these are practice runs until I am ready to quit on my own. I know I should quit because of health issues and all the tuff as second hand smoke and what it does to the non-smokers that live with the smoker. I know all the commercials that tell you what all is contained in cigarette smoke and I also have seen all the truth.com commercials and been on their website. When I said I tried the gums, I meant not only the nicotine gums, but regular gum as well. All that did was to pull out a filling in one of my back teeth that now I have to replace. I’ve tried hard candy’s, researching material for UK and for SWM. Nothing I have done has helped this situation easier on me or my family as the withdrawals I have gone through is enough to make me loonier than an owl flying in the daytime. I have snapped at everyone, even the cat. I guess that’s why I won the cigarette battle today. I have, however, made the following discoveries about myself, I am cranky in the mornings. I stay up late at night because that is the best time for me to write. I love old cartoons but cannot get into Toon Disney. I love my boys, but sometimes I have looked for rugs and a bag and a shovel. (Not that I would do anything deliberate to harm my kids) But threatening to rip off arms and smack them in the head with a bloody end has made two little boys to challenge me. Did you know that the arms of a ten-year-old will not come off on their own? Ciest La Vie! As always, this column and $2.50 will get you a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee house. ------------ About the author: Kaycee Nilson has completed her first novel, "Night Falls on Chicago." The first two chapters can be viewed at http://www.KayceeNilson.com. Besides writing columns for Useless-Knowledge, Kaycee is currently working on two more novels, "From the Mind of a Vampire", and "I'll Love You Til You Die." If you have enjoyed what you read, or would like to leave Kaycee a message, please visit her message board at http://www.KayceeNilson.com/Board Email: Kaycee@kayceenilson.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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