HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Mar. 7, 2006 URANUS...I am reporting from Uranus so please excuse the bad connection. I may have to sign off at anytime now because the Klingons are about to attack the crevices of Uranus. Please bear with me. According to Uranus officials they have been receiving messages from Osama Bin Laden regarding the new democracies in the Middle East. Apparently, Osama is interested in buying Uranus Ports. He has sent a delegation of insurgents to terrorize Uranus to force intercourse between the two planets. Uranus winds have prevented a great deal of progress by the insurgents which in turn is buying time for Uranus to build up forces to pressure Osama into losing interest in Uranus exports. I digress. Back to the Middle Eastern democracies, officials on Uranus would like to modify their smelly government to resemble Iraqi and Afghanistan governments which are currently running like Uranus breezes during the bean harvest. Uranus gas is the primary export offered by the distant planet. While traveling the forests and mountains of Uranus I have discovered many natural resources that could be of value to Earthlings. Such things as Uranus fish factories, Uranus oil, Uranus fertilizers, and of course the ever popular Uranus syrup. Whether or not you believe Uranus smells or Uranus is better than other planets, really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you recognize Uranus for what it is, a free and united orb that wants to be just like our Middle Eastern democracies, which I understand will soon apply for statehood. I wish to express my gratitude to Thomas Paine for exposing Uranus as my new home. Oops, I better getting going. I’ve noticed Uranus is firing cannon balls at the Klingons. Damn, there goes another one. I say to you my fellow Americans please take care of Uranus. ------------ About the author Stan Grimes: His writing will never improve but his lines of B.S. are getting better by the minute. Email: stan.grimes@verizon.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
