525,600 Minutes

Articles

525,600 Minutes

By Kaycee Nilson
Mar. 1, 2006

From Rent came the song that is the focus of this column. How do you measure your year?

I have been with UK almost a year now. It will be a year in April. I decided today to explore how my past year has been.

Sure, I’ve made mistakes. If I haven’t made mistakes and learned from them, then I am not a very good person. I did what my daughter wanted and as a result, she moved away.

My oldest son’s school has used me as much as my back will allow to me be on the PTA. My youngest son has made so many discoveries in his year.

Then I find out that my back is worse than we thought. I often think about the guy that used to be my best friend and there were so many times I needed him. Like the day my oven back-flashed on me and I ended up with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree burns. Like the day I miscarried, like now when I feel so alone because I feel cut-off from the outside world.

If I could, I would tell him that I am no longer mad, I’m sorry for what happened and the kids still love him. I thought of him the night Dan proposed with a sapphire ring. I so wanted to call my ex-friend and talk to him. But he has his number changed and according to a mutual friend, he wants nothing to do with me and he hates me.

Ouch, does that hurt! That hurts worse than the daily pain I go through. For you see, with my back I had a doctor that claimed it was a herniated disk, but in fact, it turned out to be a broken vertebrae and the physical therapy that I underwent damaged the bone more.

If I didn’t have a personal assistant, I would not be able to take care of my house or my kids. Plus some of my meds make me forget stuff and some meds make me sleep. My personal assistant reminds me when it’s time to take my meds, makes sure I have eaten and if I need help walking, I have someone to help me.

The next 525,600 minutes are going to be filled with wedding planning, trying to rehabilitate and more writing from me. I have a book to finish.

But what kills me the most is I have no idea if in those 525,600 minutes, I will become paralyzed.

This past year has been one of joys and sorrow for me. I can’t wait to see what this next year will bring for I hope it’s better than the past year has been.

I hope my children find what they need to be happy. I hope my ex-husband finds someone that loves him. I hope that my ex-best-friend will somehow read this and call me.

But that’s probably a dream.

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About the author: Kaycee Nilson has completed her first novel, "Night Falls on Chicago." The first two chapters can be viewed at http://www.KayceeNilson.com.

Besides writing columns for Useless-Knowledge, Kaycee is currently working on two more novels, "From the Mind of a Vampire", and "I'll Love You Til You Die."

If you have enjoyed what you read, or would like to leave Kaycee a message, please visit her message board at http://www.KayceeNilson.com/Board

Email: Kaycee@kayceenilson.com

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