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June 29, 2006 Well, I am back with yet another article on the smoking habit. No, it isn't something that a nun wears when she works in Los Angeles. I am the guy you used to see with the cloud of smoke around his head. Not like Pigpen from the Peanuts gang, but like a man with his head in the clouds, of smoke. The United States has gone bonkers over a simple pleasure like smoking. Now we have to deal with the mental minority telling us where, what and when we can do it. I am going on the record and I will stand behind my statements but, and here it is, are you sitting for this? Go ahead, get a pad, I will wait a second. You will want to write then one down. Ok, ready? "Smokers of cigarettes are just like smokers of marijuana. Marijuana smokers have to hide in the corners lying low so no one will see them breaking the law. Cigarette smokers are doing the same thing now. Marijuana smokers pay high prices for their pleasures and cigarette smokers well, New Jersey it is now $6.50 a pack, need I say more? Did you know that when you barbeque you are more at risk to get cancer then smoking? I never seen a filter on a grill have you? Think about this. When you see someone you think is HOT do you say, "Hey she is smokin?" Is your mate a silly milometer longer? Or is your love life a bust? Maybe you are crushproof, and filter out those emotions. Do you teach your child that shaving is for adults because you don't want to nick a teen? Well all I have to say is that I think its Kool to smoke. I smoke in every New Port I stop in. and when in England I smoke while Parliament is n session. Do I really love to smoke? Is Virginia slim? Is old gold? Heck yeah I enjoy it. I will enjoy it when I am in my oxygen tent puffing through a hole in my neck blowing smoke rings out of my colostomy bag. The surgeon General used to say that smoking may be bad for my health. Well when the Surgeon General joins a real army and stops listening to pressure groups telling him what to say then maybe I will quit. Yeah I think about quitting, I already quit the boy scouts. Now that I am fifty I thought it was time. I look ridicules in that silly hat, smoking. When the doctor showed me a picture of a black lung, I just said Black is beautiful. Maybe we should turn the accusing eye on some real culprits. Peter Paul and Mary said it best when Paul wrote "Puff the magic Drag on" because trust me he was talking about cigarettes. Look towards the musicians stuffing subliminal messages into their song lyrics. Deep Purple wrote "Smoke on the Water." I smoked on a boat if that counts. Bowie wrote Ciggie Stardust. We even named a forest fighting bear after cigarettes, Smokey Bear. I know you want me to stop but hey Pop, its Smokey. Ok, I poke fun here when most of you are poking holes into your lungs. I like to use work play to make points, although I am not making one grasping at straws. Let me be serious for a minute. Smoking causes cancer as well as emphysema. Smoking makes you age and turn your teeth brown. Smoking thins the blood causing your heart to work harder and that means the blood doesn't get to places that need it, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Smoking doesn't make you look cool. Smoking is not a bad habit but an addiction. The government is taking advantage of smokers. They are hiking the prices by slapping taxes on the damn things. Some places it is six or seven dollars a pack. Why don't you show big brother that he isn't going to get rich off of you people? Throw them things away and let them tax the hell out of underwear or cell phones. Those we can do without also. Let's tax frowns, and then see how many of us smile every day. Let's tax churches, and then we can feed the poor, the tired and the huddles masses yearning to breathe free. ------------ About the author: Bob D Caterino is a writer that we all either hate or love. His work can be found at http://www.ebookmall.com/ebook/163906-ebook.htm. My website: www.geocities.com/bdcaterino I found this fan site aimed towards me: http://www.geocities.com/goombabobby He hopes the death threats will stop. Its only words he uses. Laugh and lighten up will ya? Email: VitoGoomba@aol.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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