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June 28, 2006 Begin transcript: Unidentified voice #1: “Hello my Islamic brother. How are you today?” Unidentified voice #2: “I am well, except for my continuing kidney malfunctions. I have to do the number one more often now and getting out of the cave is becoming a real chore. But, praise to the holy one I can still carry an AK-47 and kill little children.” Unidentified voice #1: “Good. I wanted to check in with you because our plans for “redeployment” do not seem to be gaining many backers. Our good friend in the Senate was unable to convince his colleagues to vote for immediate “redeployment”. Only 12 other supporters of your holy jihad voted to move the American Army to Okinawa; far away from both the Middle East and America.” Unidentified voice #2: “That is bad. I had hoped to be able to “redeploy” my murderous cohorts to the streets of America. I cannot do that if the American Army keeps fighting in Iraq.” Unidentified voice #1: “Don’t worry my illustrious son of Islam. I have been getting a lot of face time on the Sunday talk shows and news outlets. My voice is resonating with many who wish to see you triumph over the hordes of American soldier infidels that are seeking your destruction. We have been fortunate that no major Muslim voice is calling for your destruction as Jordan called for the death of Al Zarqawi.” Unidentified voice #2: “Yes, yes; I tried to warn him that he was killing too many Muslims and not enough Americans. But he was a coward. He refused to fight the Americans face-to-face. I would do so myself if I could carry enough oxygen and had a portable dialysis machine I could strap hand grenades to. But alas! I am cursed with having to remain in my cave, talking to the bats and the weevils.” Unidentified voice #1: “Don’t worry my Islamic buddy. We will not quit our program of “redeployment’ propaganda until we have regained all the seats in the Congress we have lost since we told the Sudan we had no interest in arresting such a gentle man as you.” Unidentified voice #2: “I truly do not understand why everyone hates me. I have given money to charities and I have even started several charities in the Unites States. So they laundered a little money for me, they did so much for the furtherance of jihad in America and the world. I was so happy to read in the New York Times about my faithful followers planning to blow up that infidel Sears Tower. I must ask you to personally thank the people at the Times too for spilling the “schwarma” on the secret operations of America using the SWIFT program data to track my many moneychangers. I was wondering why my checks kept bouncing in the Caymans.” Unidentified voice #1: “Don’t you worry none about those money matters my dear Islamic friend. By the time our friends at the New York Times, the LA Times and the Wall Street Journal are done exposing all the government’s secret programs you’ll have the whole picture and the loopholes you’ll need to keep operating for years after Bush is out of office. We have access to so much inside information and we have our pawn Arlen Specter questioning everything and tying up the terrorist surveillance program so badly that no one is paying any attention to this call between us.” Unidentified voice #2: “Ah! I feel so much better when I talk to you my American Congressman friend. Who would think I could influence so many Americans against their own government? Who would think that our program of terror in Iraq would scare Americans so much they would call for retreat when they are so close to victory?” Unidentified voice #1: “We are winning the hearts and minds for Islam my friend. When the WMD’s were disclosed the other day, no one cared. They all still say “Bush lied!” When the Iraqi government was formed, no one cared. That same day your minions killed several Iraqis and that was front page news. We have been able to twist Bush’s assurances that he would “Stay the course”, into our assurances of “redeployment”. We are winning!” Unidentified voice #2: “Ah! Blessings on the holy one! Our defeat of America will tell the world of the power of Islam and the New York Times! Blessed is the New York Times!” End Transcript. ------------ About the Author: Michael John McCrae has contributed over 500 articles to Useless-Knowledge.com. Email: macswordV@hotmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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