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June 19, 2006 Struggling daily with loving writing but being labeled with a learning disorder that affects what I love is hard. Why continue the torture of loosing words or misspelling everything or having words out of order: well, once again it is because I love to write. Communication is the way people get ideas across. In fourth grade I was tested for my reading, I was behind the national norm. I was only behind in my opinion because school was boring. I had learned how to read at three but I read the words by moving my lips. I had to hear the words to understand what I saw. Teachers did not want to see or hear my reading to myself. Then, there was basic grammar. I would forget some basic sentence structure rules. I was diagnosed with Dyslexia. I had to transfer schools to go into a Slingerland program to teach me differently. I only took one year of Slingerland. Then, because dad was military, we moved. I struggled with new teachers and grades into high school, where once again I had to be tested. The tests showed an above average intelligence and the learning disorder. I was a senior in high school and had not gotten help since fourth grade. Pretty good job in my opinion, since many individuals by then who had trouble with school drop out. Now for the confession part, I got D's in English. And the only reason I have not finished my college degree is because I don't want to take my English courses. Those courses intimidate me because of my past experiences. I am planning on returning to college to face those courses soon. This has been my personal struggle. Sometimes when I have my sister read my stuff, or I talk to someone about my writing they tell me to have perfect grammar. That, in their opinion, you have to have perfect sentence structure to get published. I edit my stuff and I have been published. Yes, I am kinda slow at the editing part because I comb my work by reading it out loud. And alas I miss stuff all the time. Now, why write this confession when I don't have to admit that my brain functions differently. Nor has anybody complained about my grammar recently. Well, because everybody's brain functions differently. It is appalling to me that the school districts package education and that if you don't fit you now have to go to a doctor for your medication. The school districts don't even test for learning abilities first. (I hate the word disability when it comes to learning.) The school districts just say a child is a distraction and that the parent must go to a doctor.
I am hoping with this confession it brings to light
that a diagnosis is just that, it is not a reflection
on who the person is or what that person is capable of
doing. I write. I will continue to enjoy reading and
writing.
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