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June 13, 2006 Believe it or not, there have been a zillion criticisms of Michael Berg’s reaction to the death of al-Zarqawi, all right maybe not a zillion. Michael Berg’s placement of responsibility of his son’s untimely death on the head of George Bush (whose head by the way is still in place, but somewhat anally oriented), is not popular among cranially displaced conservatives. Should Mr. Berg blame Saddam Hussein? Should Mr. Berg blame the President? As the old Sesame Street song proclaims, it’s all in “where you put your eyes.” It’s true Saddam Hussein was a ruthless and probably sociopathic leader that truly deserves to be hanging out in a concrete cabin, but Nick Berg did not die at the hands of Saddam Hussein, nor did he die at the hands of George Bush. He died at the hands of al-Zarqawi and a few of his henchmen. Zarqawi is dead and that’s the end of the story, right? Not quite, I think the grieving process of a father has been overlooked, especially the grieving process of such a politically minded father. A significant part of the grieving process is “blame.” A grieving parent will first blame himself or herself, e.g., why did we let our son go over to Iraq? The grieving parent will often externalize their blame. “Why did we have a war with Iraq?” I am sure Michael Berg has gone through several stages of the grieving process and is still in the throngs of grieving. It is difficult to say ill and malicious things about a man, who has lost a brilliant, humane son. Yet, there are those who insist Mr. Berg is using his son’s death as a political platform. Perhaps, but is he the first? I do not know Mr. Berg personally and all the factors involved in his thinking processes, but I do have an understanding of the multi-faceted course of grieving. It is distinctively different for different people. If your son were savagely beheaded during a war that has had a questionable foundation for its launch, how would you react? You watched your child going through his milestones of life, e.g., first tooth, first steps, first car, first prom, college days, etc. and suddenly he is brutalized and taken away from this earth too early, much too early. Would you mourn for a day, a week, a year, or a decade? Ask any parent that has lost a child to the grim reaper if they have ever gotten over the death of a child. They will tell you, no matter how long their child has been deceased, that they have never recovered. Resolution for the death of child is near impossible.
Michael Berg has every right to blame whomever he wishes. As I have mentioned, I have never met the bereaved father, but hats off to him and may he make peace with himself and the world around him.
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