It Is Sometimes Difficult To Be A Jewish Person

Articles

It Is Sometimes Difficult To Be A Jewish Person

By Argile Stox
June 13, 2006

(I was inspired to write the following article by A Jew's Answer To Atheism, By Meri Ulrich.)

I am fifty-one years old (soon to be fifty-two in July), born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and I am Jewish. In my best Brooklyn, New York Jewish accent – “Do you have a problem with dat?” If you do, please click the bright red “X” box and read another article. For all those who are remaining, thank you for reading this article and allowing me to express my thoughts about “Being Jewish.”

First, I must admit that since I read Ms. Ulrich article, sending her an e-mail about her article, and her very nice reply – I was caught off-guard by the issues she brought up that have been festering in my mind for years. What does it really mean to be a modern Jewish person in the twenty-first century? I have been struggling with that question since my Bar Mitzvah about thirty-eight years ago. The question really started to bother me when the year two thousand rolled around six years ago.

My pen-name is Argile Stox. My actual name is so non-Jewish – it is ridiculous. The guys on Ellis Island must have had a good laugh when they changed my fathers’ ancestors’ family name to an American sounding one. Throughout my life I have heard, “You don‘t look Jewish.” However, when I began to speak – all doubt was removed when I opened my mouth and spoke in a thick Brooklyn, New York accent with a slight Jewish inflection. My grandparents sent me to one of the finest private high schools in Connecticut to improve my diction, vocabulary, meet the “right” people – etcetera.

However, my fellow alumni consisted of very wealthy kids whose parents were doctors, lawyers, Indian chiefs. You get the picture. My father died when I was two weeks into my third birthday, and my mother remarried a guy who managed three photo processing camera shops in Brooklyn and Staten Island. He was just a guy trying to make a living. He was nothing special and not well educated. He had “Street Smarts and Life Experience.”

When I mentioned that fact to kids in the dormitory – they cocked their head to the left and slowly walked away from me. When I mentioned that my grandfather was a dentist - that was a different story. Add being Jewish to the mix really made me a “fiscal” social outcast. As you can well imagine, I did not last too long at that private school and opted for a public school education.

In public school the kids did not think I was Jewish – In fact, they thought I was Irish. The short stay at the private school in Connecticut improved my diction, vocabulary, and slaughtered my Brooklyn, New York accent. I was passing myself as a non-Jew in high school. I was not ashamed of being Jewish – I was just treated differently and facial expressions changed when kids and their parents learned that I was Jewish. I could not understand why being Jewish was such a remarkable thing, that people either liked or hated me.

In my working career (some twenty years ago), I made no mention that I was Jewish and did not take off from work to observe the high holy days. Christmas was a big deal, so I just went with the flow and observed the holiday. When I moved to Southern California and was working for an upstart computer company, I was told by my boss that I sounded too New York’ish – so I reached back to my instruction concerning diction that was taught in the private school. After about eight months of sounding like a country club snob, I cracked.

One day, I walked directly into my bosses office (he was Korean) and informed him in a polite and respectful manner that I was reverting to my natural way of speaking – just deal with it! I stared him down, slowly left his office and returned to my desk. I was in computer sales at the time. The moment I reverted back to my normal way of speaking to customers all over the country – I made top salesman of the month. The individuals I spoke with over the telephone got a real kick out of my New York accent. When I dealt with business men from New York over the telephone, I outsold a salesman who was working on that same account for at least five months. He could not sell that New York customer a free glass of water. That salesman was not at work one day, and the boss came over to me and handed me the account. He said, in broken English – “See what you can do with this account.” I dialed up the customer – and within twenty minutes sold him twenty-five units.

The next day, the other salesman was called into the bosses’ office, was told that one of his accounts was handed off to me – and I sold twenty-five units. When the other salesman returned to his desk, he was so upset and steamed at me – he tried his best to try and screw with me. The other office workers and boss got wind of what he was trying to do – and that other salesman was terminated within three months.

No one in the company knew I was Jewish. They just knew I was from Brooklyn, New York and a rather strange bird. However, one day I let it slip that I was indeed Jewish and things suddenly began to change. I was not invited to the usual sales meetings and was given the absolute worst accounts to service. I knew what was going on, and I made it my business to call each account everyday – and just talk. I told the person on the other end of the telephone line that I was not calling to sell them anything. I was just a guy calling from California – looking to have a conversation with a person in Dallas, Texas, North Carolina, Montana, New Mexico, and etcetera.

Within two months of “schmoozing” these “un-sellable” customers – orders started rolling in. In a five month period, I sold sixty units to what the other salesmen called “bone-heads”. The boss took notice of his profit margins, units sold, and who was responsible for the upsurge of sales. Your’s truly, the Jew from Brooklyn, New York.

My paycheck was getting fatter each pay period. However, I was growing tired of having to prove myself and overcome the anti-Semitism in the work environment. So, I updated my resume and began to send them out. Since I had accumulated an absurd amount of vacation time, I went on interviews. I made it clear to the individual’s who were conducting the interviews that I was from Brooklyn, New York – and Jewish. I also presented my sales records from the company I was planning to leave. I also made it clear to the interviewer that if he or anyone else in his company had a problem working with a guy from Brooklyn, New York – and Jewish, the interview was over. Period – End of Story.

One interviewer asked why I was making that statement. I simply gave that person a “bird’s eye view” of what was happening in the company I was currently working for. My sales records spoke for themselves. There was nothing more to talk about, except salary and start date. It took about eight or nine interviews before I found another upstart computer company – run by – Wait for it… Former New Yorkers! They made me a salary offer (which was a thirty-five percent raise) and I was hired on the spot.

I had about six days left of vacation and needed to decompress from the company I was leaving. Arrangements were made with my new employer that I would start in about two weeks. I needed a REAL vacation really bad! When my vacation ended and I walked into the company I was leaving, my desk was overflowing with memos, purchase orders, and other corporate stuff. I fired up my computer – (Please remember, this is 1986) and composed a resignation letter. When you resign from a computer company in California – you are shown the door the same day. I knew that and swiftly cleaned out my desk. I try not to clutter-up my workspace with personal items. There is no lower feeling than the one emotion of carrying your stuff in a small brown box –out the door of a company.

It was a short resignation letter. I signed the paper and walked over to the bosses’ office. He was on the phone, talking in Korean and waved me in. After waiting at least fifteen minutes for him to end his conversation, the call ended. He said, “Welcome back. How was your vacation?” I smiled and said, “It went very well – Here is my resignation letter.” There was a long pause. You could hear a pin drop in his office. The first rule in sales, “The first person who talks, loses.” I looked him squarely in his eyes and he sat frozen in his seat.

“Okay, please clean out your desk…” I quickly said, “Done!” He then said, “Please go down to the personnel department and hand in your identification badge. I will call down to the accounting department and have them issue a final paycheck. Good Luck.” I stood up from my chair, we shook hands and I walked slowly to the personnel department. As I walked past my former sales associates, I presented a Cheshire Cat grin. When they absorbed my _expression, they all appeared perplexed.

The personnel department had a few forms for me to fill out and an envelope containing my final paycheck. I filled out the forms, had my “exit” interview with the head of the department. I made no mention of the anti-Semitism I experienced or the fact that I was shut out of the “loop” of information. In addition, I made no mention that I was given the worst accounts to service. I just stated that another company made me an offer I could not refuse. The personnel department head handed me my final paycheck, and I shook her hand. I exited my former place of employment, happy. I got in to my car and opened my final paycheck. The boss gave me an enormous amount of money for the vacation days I had remaining, a commission check, and one month salary. I guess that was his way of apologizing. The company lasted about one year after I left, and was absorbed by another company. Their chief competitor folded about two months after the other company was absorbed. As for me, I was happy in my new work environment – we worked as a team, and sold a ton of computer units.

In 1990, I grew tired of being in computer sales, installation, and repairs. I also hurt my back during an installation of a now ancient computer system. I became disabled. In 1994 my back was getting better and I took a three week course in automotive sales. I graduated and was hired immediately by a Southern California Automotive Dealership. I made no mention I was Jewish. However, I made it clear that I was from Brooklyn, New York – and they will have to deal with it. During my tenure as a new and used car salesman, I made a lot of money and drifted from one dealership to another. Then, my back finally gave out – and I could no longer sit or stand for ten minutes without feeling extreme pain in my back. In 2002, I became totally disabled due to degenerative bone disease and other maladies.

So, what does the above have in common with being Jewish in the twenty-first century? Everything & nothing. Are you confused? I will explain further. There appears to be some sort of mystic aura that surrounds a Jewish person. This is not something I have imagined or created in my mind. I notice that individuals act differently around Jews, and I do not know why. I am told by many individuals that the Jewish populations of the world are the “Chosen People.” Chosen? Chosen, for what? Chosen to be kicked out of almost every country in the world? Chosen to be almost exterminated numerous times in world history?

When I was between automotive sales positions in Southern California, I took a temporary position at an automotive repair shop to organize paperwork and make the paper and information flow generated by the mechanics, suppliers, customers flow more evenly and rapidly. I went to work every day, organized the shop owners office, records, manuals, etcetera. The position I took was only supposed to last about a month, and I was paid a slightly higher pay rate than everyone else who worked in the repair shop. I had a good relationship with all the mechanics and service writers at the shop. For some odd reason, one day – everything changed.

It was a usual day and I was in organization mode. I walked into the shop owners’ office and said that I am going to lunch. He turned around in his chair and raised his right arm and gave me the “Heil Hitler” hand motion. I almost dropped dead right there. As I walked out of the office, dazed and confused – the entire staff, mechanics and service writers also gave me the Heil Hitler hand motion. I walked back into the shop owners’ office and demanded my weekly pay – in cash, immediately. I informed him that I will not work for or tolerate anyone who has the audacity to give me the Heil Hitler hand motion.

The shop owner opened the cash draw and handed me two hundred dollars. The amount was fifty dollars short. I sat my butt on his desk and said, “You are fifty dollars short. You do not want to get this Brooklyn, New York and Jewish Bastard angry. You will not like me when I am angry!” There must have been something in my facial _expression. His face turned pale and he then fumbled around the cash draw and handed me five ten dollar bills. I promptly walked out of his office. The mechanics and service writers were still displaying the Heil Hitler hand motion. I responded with a double middle finger motion, as I drove away in my car. That situation occurred in 1998. To this day, I do not know what prompted the display. The office was running smoothly and everything was up to date. I had no dispute with anyone at the repair shop. I was shocked and floored. The display of the Heil Hitler hand motion really hurt me – to my core.

When I returned to Queens, New York in 2001, during the recession – Things had changed. The Jewish population moved out of a certain section of Queens, and was replaced by Koreans, Vietnamese, and Chinese individuals. Suddenly, this sedate area of Queens, New York was ruled by gangs. I could not believe my eyes. 2002 rolled around and my book (now out of print) Computer-End Program, ISBN 1-4137-2496-5 picks up the tale.

There are some decades where it is OK to be a Jewish person. There are some decades that it is not OK to be a Jewish person. At the time of this writing, it is OK to be a Jewish person in Rapid City, South Dakota – for now. Things could change at any moment, depending on who is in political office and the constituents that they represent.

It is sometimes difficult to be a Jewish person. I have been exposed to both sides of the anti-Semitism situation. It appears to be a political seasonal event. Sometimes it is better not to inform individuals of your heritage and or religion.

So, the next time that you feel the urge to hate a Jewish person – Pleased give an enormous amount of thought as to WHY?! Did you hate the Jews before a certain person in your network of friends began to deride Jews? Please think very hard on this subject. Opinions concerning a certain sect of religious individuals can turn on a dime. I have experienced both sides of the coin in my limited lifetime. I just do not know what the future will hold for Jews in general. I pray to God to keep everything on an even keel. What happened in Germany in the 1930’s – can happen again. There are anti-Semite groups in our country just waiting for the right opportunity to revive the pre-WW11 mindset and are proud to display the Heil Hitler hand motion.

I still do not know why!

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Email Argile Stox: argilestox@gmail.com

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