I Need To Join A "Movement"

Articles

I Need To Join A "Movement"

By Michael John McCrae
July 5, 2006

I have decided that I need to join a “Movement”.

MoveOn.org is a movement dedicated to the bashing of all things Presidential (at least until a liberal is elected to the oval office).

The NAACP is a movement dedicated to bashing all things white, Anglo-Saxon and Protestant as is Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow-Push Coalition.

NOW is a woman’s movement that pushes the more liberal aspects of womanhood (but since I have a member I probably can’t be a member). Oh Well!

Then there is the Open Borders movement that would allow every al-Qaida terrorist his Allah-given 40 acres and a sheep. (I don’t know if mules are allowed under Islam.)

Then there is the Environmentalist movement that examines the junk science that purports to explain a single degree of global warming over a 400 year period as “Doomsday!” But I don’t know. After living in a desert for the past two years, one little degree is exactly the same as the next little degree. And I would have to give up my SUV. I happen to like my SUV.

I could join Americans for the Separation of Church and State movement but I would first have to repudiate God in total and then pretend I was religious in some way. Isn’t that hypocritical?

I could join the National Teacher’s Association and their movement to make all things multicultural and tolerant of every religion except Christianity and their program of ensuring No Child Is Left Behind by eliminating all testing required to be promoted to the next grade. (Keep them dumb and happy is the way of the NEA!)

But I am really looking for a movement that I could fit into without controversy. I am conservative, so I would never fit into any movement that promotes the murder of unborn children or the saving of those who have murdered others in a premeditated fashion through rape, robbery or other types of thuggery. I get confused when “right to life” groups protect serial criminal murderers and when pro-abortion groups insist babies can be killed with impunity.

I get confused too when the words of a prostitute can condemn a whole group of people when there is no evidence, or the allegations of liberals can produce bogus indictments or forged documents or charges against the innocent while their own colleagues hide thousands of bribe-money dollars in their home refrigerators or freezers.

That’s why I need to join a movement. I need all these things explained to me. I need to know why every time the President farts there are thirteen liberal lawyers examining his crack! I need to know why every time Dick Cheney shows his face I hear screams of “Halliburton”. I need to know why Karl Rove is still a subject after everyone other than the New York Times has dropped their allegations of “Plameism”. I need someone to explain to me in which way Hillary is smarter than Dr. Condoleezza Rice’s left thumb. I need someone to help me work out why anyone in America might think Arianna Huffington is funny.

Perhaps Howard Dean can help me with that?

I’ll keep looking, but for now I feel a movement coming on. Excuse me.

------------

About the Author: Michael John McCrae has contributed over 500 articles to Useless-Knowledge.com.

Email: macswordV@hotmail.com

Comment on this article here!

------------

All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED!