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 By Patrick Hurley July 4, 2006 I have just received some pretty reliable information that our former first lady may favor the fairer sex... Of course, the ex-secret service agent I was drinking with last night was understandably plowed under after we polished off several Long Island iced teas. It all began when I asked him, "When you worked on the Clinton White House detail did you ever bring in women for Bill?" His answer got my attention..."Yep, but not just for Bill..." Huh? I took another big GULP of my drink and tried to keep a straight face. "Are you implying that Hillary is...GAY?" He smiled cooly, "No, I am not IMPLYING that. I am simply stating it as fact." "Well, if that is true, and it is a HUGE if, then why haven't the Republicans exploited it and destroyed her?" The agent gave me a knowing smile, "Because they haven't had to. She has never been the Democratic nominee for President. Wait until it happens and all hell will break loose!" His answer made sense. Of course, so did all of Bill's affairs. If I were married and my wife were a lesbian, I think I would probably stray, too; knowing she wouldn't be all that torn up about it. "But, she went on '60 minutes' and proclaimed her love for her husband, remember?" He didn't even seem fazed, "She went on '60 minutes' and proclaimed her love for winning the Presidency!" Ah, yes. She most certainly did. "So, you are saying she and Bill have a mutual agreement that is not romantically based, but politically expedient?" He took another chug, licked his lips and laughed, "Do you THINK so?" I paused and thought about the ramifications of what he was suggesting... Being gay is not a crime and, in fact, it has become acceptable in most areas of our society. Of course, the Presidency is not a typical part of our society. We have only elected one Catholic, nominated one woman for Vice-President and one Jewish man for the same position. We have never seen a black, hispanic or Asian person nominated for either of the top offices. Nor have we seriously considered a woman for the Oval Office. And now, a GAY woman? One would think Howard Dean would have more of a shot here if Hillary liked girls and it became public knowledge. If that were the case, one of George W's daughters would get better odds assuming they could stagger out of a bar in time to give a campaign speech! "There is NO way that anyone is going to talk about Hillary Clinton being gay! If it hasn't come out by now, she is safe from that rumor," I assured him. "It is not a rumor, it is a fact. Secondly, it has been suggested by a number of people in high places including former campaign strategist, Dick Morris. The GOP is sitting back and waiting for her to make her move. That is why the Democrats will probably nominate John Edwards or Chris Dodd." How ironic that on the day our nation celebrates her freedom, I am sitting here contemplating how far that freedom extends to all Americans, including Hillary Rodham Clinton. She has the right to be a lesbian. She also has the right to run for President as a lesbian. But, if she wants to win the highest office in the land will we demand that she limit her freedom of speech and expression in order to give her candidacy a chance? You bet your sweet BIPPY! The red states have enough problems with the liberal wing of the Democratic party. Wait until they get a load of THIS! I just shook my head and bought my friend another drink. On this Fourth of July I pose the unending question about theUnited States of America...is this a great country or what? Because someday Hillary Clinton may just see fit to test the truth of that statement. ------------ About the author: Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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