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Jan. 15, 2006 Scientists have actually studied the act of tickling and why it makes some people laugh. According to the most prevailing theory, tickling is like a mock attack. The tickler is physically saying, "I'm attacking you; no, just kidding." The process of tickling is akin to joking. Take my favorite Rodney Dangerfield joke: "The other day I went to the doctor. He said he needed a semen sample, a urine sample, and a stool sample. So I gave him my underwear and left." He's just kidding, (I think. I can just picture...no, I don't want to go there.) and it makes us laugh. One night I was watching the Howard Stern Show on E network. I don't agree with his degrading attitude toward women. His criticism of the imperfections of women's bodies irritates me, and his promotion of unnecessary cosmetic surgery (primarily breast implants) is irresponsible because women die having plastic surgery. But as Jeff Foxworthy would say, "I was drinking beer, and I wanted to see something naked." His guest was Yaqi, the professional tickler. I'm not going to give his website, but it can easily be found using the google search engine. Yaqi is a creepy, prematurely graying man who makes a living selling videos of him tickling women, and women tickling him. He brought along two women clad in their underwear, and they were tied down and tickled. One of the models, they could barely make smile, but the other one was so ticklish that her frantic thrashing broke the ropes that held her wrists down. On another episode Mr. Stern invited Pamela Anderson and Natalie Raitano from the television series, VIP to a foot tickling session. Ms. Anderson offered to tickle the men on the show, but none were brave enough to submit. As a ticklee, Ms. Anderson is a squealer, but Natalie Raitano proved to be genuinely ticklish. The episode with tickling must have boosted ratings because shortly after this, the tickle chair along with robo spank became regular fixtures on his show. The robo spank is a mechanically swinging wooden board. Mr. Stern has women bend over and their nude posteriors are struck with it. One model said it hurt like a mother lover. A whole parade of women on the fringes of stardom have suffered the torments of Mr. Stern's tickle chair which has restraints attached to it. Nikki Ziering (a Price is Right model and actress from Austin Powers movies), Jesse Jane (a porn star), Maria Manounas (a journalist and actress), and even Jennifer McCarthy (famous Playboy model) have all been rendered into helpless humiliation in Mr. Stern's tickle chair. When Mr. Stern tickled Ms. McCarthy she lost control and urinated into her blue jeans. From now until the end of civilization as we know it, people can see photos on the internet of Ms. McCarthy's most embarrassing moment. I've never seen women tickling men on the Howard Stern Show, but while researching this article I discovered Xana, the tickle torturer, a bosomy blonde who reportedly has appeared on his show. Apparently, she must tour the country tickling her tied down boyfriend in public. Believe it or not--there is money to be made in the specialized field of tickling. ------------ About the author Mark Gelbart: My book, Talk Radio, is a black comedy about a radio talk show host who gets kidnapped and psychologically tortured by a loser. www.mark-gelbart.com Email: agelbart@aol.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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