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 By Argile Stox Jan. 10, 2006 My brain is stuck in second gear. After the health events that were experienced during the past month, my brain is stuck somewhere between writing and not writing. Yeah, I know – submitting this article to U-K, is writing. However, writing non-fiction or a column is “writing-light.” I have this fictional story in mind that I have been writing in my brain for the past eight months – I just can’t seem to get enough steady discipline to sit on my butt to create the story. As I prepare to write – anything, my fingers begin tapping on the keyboard as I begin to “free associate.” That is what I am doing now – trying to break down the barrier(s) that are preventing the creative side of my writing talent to emerge. (Talent? Argile, you must be kidding! You are a hack – Face up to it – Get over it, and move on.) Generally, I do not talk about what I plan to start penning. However, I have mentioned the topic and plot line to two individuals, and they began to laugh. Writing fiction has not been my forte, and it is difficult to assemble in my mind. Non-fiction is easy – for I have experienced the subject matter over a period of time, and I feel comfortable writing about it. Usually, when I run into difficulty writing fiction (this is a short story that my mind has been slightly occupied with), I abandon the idea of attempting to write it. This time, is different. I guess my mind is stuck in the usual “approach / avoidance” trap that infects writers all the time. I write a paragraph, edit the paragraph, and then - delete the paragraph. Lucky thing for me, I am using a computer. If I were to use an old fashioned typewriter and paper, the trash bin would be overflowing by now. Would it be easier to actually experience what I am going to write about? Therefore, it would be easier to write fiction – based on fact. Yeah, that is a great idea. However, if I were to follow that plan, I would have to spend at least two months in NY, and “act-out” the plot of the short story. Nope! – I will not be able to implement that plan of action any time soon. I have partially lived the story, and I can research what I need to authenticate the plot on the Internet. However, I do not have the urgent need in my stomach to write the damn thing. I know, telling two individuals about what the short story is about – created some sort of commitment to write it. I was always told that an individual must tell at least three individuals about something, before it can be accepted as a commitment. Does writing my dilemma on U-K constitute a third individual? No, I don’t think so. Why? Well, I have not disclosed in this article, what the short story is about. Technically, I am writing about a problem concerning writing – not the actual story-line. No! I am not going to divulge the substance of the short story in this article! That would put a great deal of additional stress on my brain, to start writing the short story. If that happens, the short story will turn out terrible. Been There, Done That! Complicating matters – Is the fact that I have two other writing projects that have been sitting on the back burner, since my health problems presented themselves. One project is due on January 14, 2006. It is a favor I am doing for one of Tracy’s relatives. If I put my mind to it, the project will take only a few hours to complete. The other project was supposed to be implemented on January 4, 2006 – the day I went back into the hospital for a procedure. I publicly stated that on that day, I would do this and that. However, the healing process is taking longer then I expected. Okay, I wrote publicly, that the moment the healing process was ninety-five percent complete, I would go forth and “do the deed.” I have a feeling that the individuals who read my first and later amended time frame for doing the deed, are getting impatient – and want to see some sort of progress. I take responsibilities and dead-lines very seriously; to the point where I become neurotic! Yet, my continued health is the main issue, and I do not want to do anything to screw that up. Tracy would kill me (if I was not already dead from a second heart attack or stroke) if I sacrificed my health to complete two projects. As I write this article, a feeling of exhaustion is slowly creeping in. I become very tired quickly these days. My brain is willing – But, my body is sounding alarms and telling me to “quit while I am ahead.” At fifty-one years of age, I feel seventy-five. I really don’t know how it feels to be seventy-five, for I have not experienced that age yet. However, I have been in the company of individuals of that age group – and have witnessed how tired they became after exerting themselves physically and or mentally, for a short period of time Maybe, I will just take a nap – and figure it out later. Yeah, that sounds reasonable. A nap is a really good idea. Hello bed! – Ready for me? Later, folks! ------------ Email Argile Stox: argilestox@gmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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