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Jan. 6, 2006 Hello my name is Clair Voyant and I just finished my one on one interview with the late great president Ronald Reagan. He answered all the questions dead on, that's because he is dead. That's a medium joke. I will tell a large joke later. He came to me through my Ouija board. He looks quite different now. He is sort of an off white man with fire engine red hair. Oh, wait, that's what he looked like before, oops, my bad. Oh well here goes my interview with Ronnie. Clair: Hello Mr. President, My name is Clair and I am happy to see through you tonight. I won't hold back with the hard core questions Mr. President so my first question is, do you dye your hair? Everyone wants to know. Ronnie: Well, I dye everything these days. I am dead after all and dieing is what I am good at. Clair: Oh, my. Good answer. This is so exciting. Now those few years before your death, you claimed to have Alzheimer's. Was that all an act to avoid the Iran Contra hearings? Ronnie: No, that was an act to avoid Nancy. She was a pain in my ass. That gal should have been named Ann, Ann Arexic. Clair: If you were here today and needed to fight terrorism how would you go about it? Ronnie: Well, I would Pardon Osama and he would come out of hiding. Then I would send a dumb bomb to blow him off the face of the earth. Clair: A dumb bomb? Don't you mean a smart bomb Mr. President? Ronnie: Well, no. I would save the mart bomb for a better target. The dumb bomb is for dumb asses like Osmosis Bin Hiding or whatever his name is. Clair: Mr. President one more question because you are fading on me. What was it like to work with a chimp? Ronnie: Well, George, Curious George we used to call him around the white house, Ole George Bush was a good vice president. He never got caught with his pants down like that other guy B. J. Clinton. Clair: No, Mr. President I am talking about those Bonzo movies you made with Bonzo the chimp. Ronnie: Well, you can see how I confused them. I knew Bonzo well and trust me George was no Bonzo. That monkey was as smart as a whip. Well, I have to go now; it seems that I am fading out. Exit stage left. I'm cumin Dick. I and Dick Nixon like to haunt the white house and scare the pants off of that man. Clair: You mean George W. Bush? Ronnie: [fading out] No the other guy, his wife. Clair: Well there you have it. The one and only Mr. Ronnie Reagan, Oh, he seems to be having trouble leaving. He keeps fading in and out. There, I think he is gone now. Oh no, There he goes again. ------------ About the author: Bob D Caterino is a writer that we all either hate or love. His work can be found at http://www.ebookmall.com/ebook/163906-ebook.htm. My website: www.geocities.com/bdcaterino I found this fan site aimed towards me: http://www.geocities.com/goombabobby He hopes the death threats will stop. Its only words he uses. Laugh and lighten up will ya? Email: VitoGoomba@aol.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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