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Jan. 1, 2006 As we say goodbye to 2005, there are some questions about what might happen in 2006. Here are just a few of my favorites: 1) Will 2006 be the year that Osama bin Laden is finally found and brought to justice? Osama has been on the run now for over four years, and I’m convinced the fact that we haven’t caught him is not a function of military ineptitude. For all we know right now, he may be dead in a cave in Afghanistan, or working as a mini-mart attendant in Buffalo. Wherever he is, we don’t have him, and with so many resources now focused on keeping Iraq stable, and with our friends in Saudi Arabia helping to keep the crude flowing to the West, it’s not likely he will be captured this year. 2) Will NBC’s version of the game show “Deal or No Deal” face the same fate as the ABC version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” did? NBC was wise to order more episodes of “Deal” for the coming spring, after a highly-rated week-long run in December. As long as the folks over at the Peacock don’t try to make “Deal” a regular series, or start doing vapid celebrity editions, they will make a lot of money and continue to get solid ratings with it. “Deal” has been one of the few bright spots for NBC this season. Getting prime-time NFL games on Sunday night later in the year may help them pick up some more steam. 3) When, exactly, will the 2005 Atlantic hurricane season end? Tropical Storm Zeta, which formed in the open waters of the Atlantic Ocean on December 30, between Bermuda and the Azores, is not only the last storm of 2005, but the first one of 2006. As of 10 PM Eastern Time on December 31, Zeta’s maximum winds were blowing at 50 miles per hour, and the storm was moving northwest at one mile per hour. Zeta isn’t expected to reach hurricane strength, and it isn’t expected to be a threat to land. Zeta is the 27th named storm of a record-breaking and devastating hurricane season. That the storm formed one month after the official end of hurricane season is amazing enough. But if it defies logic and nature itself, the East Coast of the United States may have to brace for another round of tropical weather. Which leads to my next question… 4) Will the 2006 hurricane season be as bad as 2005? According to the experts, we’re in a period of increased hurricane activity. This past hurricane season showed us exactly how vulnerable the United States is to these great storms. Hurricanes Katrina, Rita and Wilma, particularly, exposed gaping holes in an emergency-management apparatus that includes federal, state and local levels, and highlighted problems related to oil-refining capacity. Maybe the better question to ask here is… 5) What will happen if a major hurricane strikes the Gulf Coast in 2006? Katrina devastated New Orleans and the Mississippi cities of Biloxi, Gulfport and Pascagoula. Another round of severe tropical weather may force the state of Louisiana and the federal government to seriously consider abandoning New Orleans altogether and allow the waters of Lake Ponchitrain and the Mississippi River to reclaim the urbanized land. 6) Will the space shuttle fly again in 2006? Not unless NASA solves the problem of foam shedding from the external tank, which was the cause of the Columbia disaster in 2003. The triumph of the launch of the orbiter Discovery last July was short-lived, as engineers realized they had not completely solved the foam problem. Even while still in orbit, Discovery and her surviving sisters Atlantis and Endeavour were grounded According to the Kennedy Space Center website, the next shuttle mission on the rotation is STS-121, an 11-day mission to visit the International Space Station. The date of launch and the vehicle involved are yet to be determined. Hopefully, that flight will lift off sometime in 2006. 7) What stupid things will George W. Bush say in 2006? In the last installment of the Stupidest Things Ever Said desk calendar, compiled by the brother-and-sister duo of Ross and Kathryn Petras, there were no fewer then ten gems attributed to Bush. Bear in mind that there’s about a three-year lag time from the time the quote is made and the time it shows up in the calendar. That means we should see “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job” in 2008. All jokes aside, President Bush has one of the world’s toughest jobs. Even though I disagree with him more often than not, any person willing to step into that breach commands a lot of respect. 8) Will the Chicago White Sox repeat as World Series champions? No one really expected the ChiSox to rise up like they did in 2005 and beat down their opposition so convincingly. Don’t be surprised if they win 100 games in 2006 and give everyone else in the American League fits. I like the job that Ozzie Guillen has done with this team, and I expect them to be good for a few years yet. 9) What does 2006 hold for Useless Knowledge? Race relations, evolution, politics, and missing women were among the hot-button items on the site in 2005. But there will likely be other issues that come to the forefront as 2006 marches on. And hopefully, talented new voices will share their insight and knowledge with the old guard. 10) Will I finally reach the prestigious Useless Knowledge 100+ Club and have my name listed in the sidebar along with all-time greats like Michael John McCrae, Judy Ramsook and Brian Michael Barbeito? My first column for Useless Knowledge, How to Get Married on $1,000 or Less, was published in May 2004. Several correspondents who started submitting their work after I did have already written more than 100 columns. I get a lot of pleasure writing for Useless Knowledge, but like most of the rest of the gang, I have other things that in life that demand my time and attention. While writing my 100th column will definitely be a wonderful accomplishment, I can safely say that taking time off the last two Novembers to write two awful novels is equally special to me. So, too, is spending time with my wife, with whom I plan to celebrate six years of marriage in April. And so, too, was seeing my sister and her family over Christmas. Instead of evacuating their home in eastern Mississippi, they rode out the fury of Hurricane Katrina. The holidays gave us an opportunity to see each other face to face for the first time since then, something we had not done since mid-July. My goal is to hit 100 columns sometime before the end of 2006. If I succeed, that’s great. If not, those among you who wish to find out how to get married on the cheap will still have some good material to read. The new year has begun. I hope 2006 is a great year for everyone. ------------ About the author: Claxton Graham has written a number of articles for Useless Knowledge. He works as a business systems analyst. Email: scifiwriter8502@email.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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