What Is The Big Deal About PORTS?

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What Is The Big Deal About PORTS?

By Patrick Hurley
Feb. 23, 2006

All of a sudden I am seeing all these articles popping up about ports and President Bush. Who cares what kind of wine he prefers? Geesh! Get off his back you shallow Americans!

If you were the President of the United States you should be allowed to stock your wine cellar with any vino your heart desires. I personally favor Merlot for red wine, but I guess Port is up there, too. But, I am not the President and it would be nerve-wracking for me to know there were hundreds of thousands of citizens who were obsessed with my taste in wine.

I remember one time I had a date with this really cute woman named Shelly. We went out to dinner and we ordered one of the finest tasting wines in all of history...Berringers white zin. Sure, it was loaded with sugar but that is what kept us going most of the night. We paid a hefty price at dinner because the fancy pants restaurant jacked up the price just to make a profit. I countered that high cost by not ordering an entree. Heh, heh. On the way home we continued to beat the system. We stopped at Von's market and bought four bottles for only 4.99 each and came back to my place where we danced and drank the night away until Shelly passed out. I put a blanket over her on the floor and propped a pillow under her head. She was smiling. She woke up about the next afternoon and the first words out of her mouth were, "I LOVE white zin!" What a great gal.

It is a good thing she is not the President. Because then we would be seeing a proliferation of articles about ZIN, instead of Port. This is America, folks. If you like Chablis, Claret, Burgundy...it is your right as a member of this republic to drink whatever you want. That goes for the President, as well.

So, enough of this talk about George Bush and the ports. Leave the man to his beverage.

I was going to go out with Shelly again, but she got married. Oh well.

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About the author: Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California.

Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net

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