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Feb. 7, 2006 “The news wire service announced an aerial battle over Windsor, Ontario, Canada, as planes from the Canadian Air Force, in support of Operation Noble Eagle, was engaged by United States Air Force fighters who mistook them for hostile aircraft threatening Detroit, the city hosting Super Bowl XL. Burning debris is crashing into the ground, and citizens of Detroit are urged to take cover immediately…” Well, okay, maybe not, but it could have been. I get press releases from U.S. and Canadian wire services, because I freelance write a lot, and they provide inspiration for articles. So, imagine my surprise when I get this press release that NORAD is flying joint U.S.-Canadian missions over Detroit and Windsor to protect those enjoying the Pittsburgh-Seattle game. Yeah, the Super Bowl had super-sized security. But, what if… No, we can’t any longer hate Canada after the recall election. See, because they follow a parliamentary process, Canada voted their liberal government out, and a new conservative government in. Yes, Dorothy, there ARE politics above the 49th parallel! Somebody tell W. that, if he can’t get the 22nd Amendment of the Constitution changed, so he can be ensconced as emperor of America, he can come up to Canada and run for election. Hey, Alberto Fujimori ran Peru, right? So, no longer will Canada be snubbed as a passive, peace-loving country. With a man like Bush in Ottawa (yes, Dorothy, Ottawa is the capital of Canada, not Toronto), Canadians worldwide will get the respect they’ve long deserved. After all, Toronto is headed in the right direction, ranking number one in the country for gun violence. And the Hell’s Angels taking over British Columbia fits in well with the U.S.’s hatred of the criminal liberals taking over California (the “Left Coast”) before Ah-nold took over as guv’nor. It can happen, just like Tom Clancy predicted the use of airliners as guided missiles in his novel, “Debt of Honor”. Detroit could have been the scene of another scenario created by Clancy, that of “Sum Of All Fears”; a Super Bowl stadium subjected to a nuclear attack. Man, I’m glad those NORAD guys were up there on Sunday, aren’t you? No way would an American president think of staging an act of aggression to distract the people from his real agenda, right? “Bush For Canada”…now that’s a cool slogan, isn’t it? Well, we COULD advocate Cheney to run, if his pacemaker could keep up…now that’s an even cooler slogan--we've got “Dick For Canada,” eh? ------------ About the author: After barely surviving the 2004 presidential election massacre, Chuck Tyler excaped north to Canada, where he is a copywriter/editor for OurSportsCentral.com. He can still be reached at tyler_1420@yahoo.com, and is accepting donations for knitted items such as mittens and sweaters. Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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