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 By Brian Michael Barbeito Feb. 1, 2006 Mr. Frederick Smith, a sometimes prolific UK writer, has been abducted by aliens! I chanelled an ascended master, named Zagbutianestibonfloralicanistipical, and recieved this unfortunate information. I chanelled Zagbutia (I call him that for short), because I started to wonder where Frederick went to. It wasn't easy getting in touch with Z ( I call him that for really short), as he is busy around the multiverse, and gets summoned plenty. I used some purple candles and a special meditation, along with some special incantations, at a certain hour (a very secret hour, to the uninitiated), and he arrived. I shall relate some of the information he gave in case anyone in cyberspace is interested... It is important to know that, though UK heard from Mr. Smith recently, stating that he was a bit busy with other matters, that the person who said this was indeed not Mr. Smith at all. It was, what we in the ufology racket, I mean business, I mean area of study, call a disinformation agent. That is right, there is actually an entitiy that looks like Mr. Smith, living now somewhere in America, who wrote that, but it is not him at all. You wouldn't even know it if you met Mr. Smith, for you'd think it was good old Frederick, but you'd have thunk wrong! Frederick was taken from his street by not only aliens, but bad aliens...the worst kind... The aliens that took Freddie are Republican aliens. Now some ufologists call these malevolent creatures from outerspace ' Reptillians' but rest assured that this was a mistake during the development of the nomenclature in the UFO community. They sought out Freddie because they are angry with him. Since he is not a believer in the higher powers, he is neither a believer in the lower ones! And this frustrated the space travellers as they had no power over him and those like him. They saw that he posts on the world wide web, and figured they'd get him and try and brainwash him into their way of thinking. They want to take over the earth! They want to rule over humans, and have us as mere labor workers. They have exhausted the natural resources on their planet, and want to use up ours next! What is even more disconcerting is that they want to use us to breed with. They only developed their pure intellect through the last ten thousand years, and ignored emotion. Now the species is dying. What they lack they have found in strands of human DNA. They want Freddy to come back, and then start a propaganda campaign saying that the Republicans/Reptillians come in peace! They want one of UK's very own to sell humanity down the river, in order that they might inhabit the earth and continue on as a species both! Ha! Yours truly and Z-man (I call him that for between short and really short), will have none of it! Thus this warning to UK readers and writers and editorship and to the larger populace of humanity itself! If Mr. Smith arrives singing the praises of Republican platforms, or peaceful aliens, or if he says one word about crop circles, well...beware! If Mr. Smith on the other hand, returns as the good old God denying secular humanist atheist liberal that he really is, then all is alright. That means that me and Z- dude (I call him that for...oh never mind), have been able to succesfully help deprogram Freddie, if indeed, he is not able to hold up agaisnt these menacing foes. So far, its a fifty-fifty, and according to Z, can go either way. So keep up hope, and keep an eye to the skies, and to UK, and hope for the best. If you have a God, please say a prayer. If you don't, uh, I don't know...don't say a prayer. For goodness sakes don't drink and drive though man! Huh? Damn the man! Huh? It seems Z is sending all these messages through. So be it. Don't drink and drive and damn the man. Good enough. Z has his reasons. He knows things. There is a whole multiverse out there. Over and out. ------------ About the author: Brian Michael Barbeito lives in Aurora, Ontario, Canada. His two most recent books are Medium Double Double Milk (non-fiction) and Fluoride And The Electric Light Queen (poems), neither currently published. Email: Brian1750@Hotmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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