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Aug. 31, 2006 In my younger days, back in my native Motinia, I had taken a lively interest in spelunking. This was due to the proximity of Disha Caverns, in the Mountains of the Devil. But that was years ago and thousands of miles away. Still, on the very first day that Udi and I had spent in Vunu Vunu, I was fascinated to learn that, here too, there were immense caves, Vunu Vunu Caverns, with an entrance right at the edge of the village. In the local library, I found a comprehensive atlas of the caverns, which had been provided generations ago with a system of landmarks and signs. One needed have only a smattering of Nori, an extinct language of western Ub that I had dabbled in, to make his way around the labyrinth of galleries, tunnels, abysses, stalagmites and stalactites within, if, of course, he had a good lamp. I had taken my Ungi, 150-volt super-flashlight, which served me handily. And I had largely mastered the intricacies of the interior of the mountains. Anyway, when Udi and I got back to Vunu Vunu, after our visit to the Archives of Fwascren, we felt anxious about the presence of Zergfa, Wezmim and Piluglag in the village, though we had no real evidence that they were members of Plubac, the xenophobic conspiracy led by Torcbu. We couldn’t imagine how they might have traced us to Vunu Vunu, but, day after day, on the upper walk, I could see Zergfa, peering out over the endless plains 6000 feet below and perhaps monitoring our movements, as it seemed to me. Down from our veranda, fell a vertiginously steep precipice. Just standing at the rail was enough to dizzy you. On the plain, though we could not see them from our height, grew melons the size of barrels and grapes as large as lemons. The gleaming mammoth trusses of the Vunu Vunu Monorail could be seen in the distance bridging the world. Finally, one day, my annoyance got the best of me. Seeing Zergfa on the upper walk, I grabbed an iron poker from Udi’s fireplace and went racing up the stairs. “What the hell is going on, Zergfa? Why are you standing there every day? That is very uncouth of you to intrude upon us like that.” “Why, you insignificant ephebe, you idle figurine, I’ll break your bones in half with my bare hands. How dare you address your elders and betters with such disrespect?” I swung the poker at Zergfa, missing intentionally, lest I really provoke him, and went running off. I heard him crying out, “Wezmim! Piluglag! Help me catch this insolent little imp.” Seconds later, Wezmim and Piluglag appeared, and the three mighty men came after me together. A minute later, I had run into the entrance of Vunu Vunu Caverns, with my super-flashlight in my pouch, which was suspended from my waist. The large cave at the opening served as a restaurant, with about thirty tables, with red and white checkered tablecloths. A handful of people were dining and drinking bottles of wine. Beyond the restaurant, lay the submontane vaults that, thank goodness, I had studied thoroughly. Zergfa, Wezmim and Piluglag came running after me, hardly understanding that the brilliant floodlight was not a permanent fixture. I led them to a point where there was a narrow path beside a yawning chasm. Hundreds of feet below flowed an underground torrent with a small cascade and you could hear the echoes from where we stood, resonant and awesome. Just as the three malefactors were about to reach me, I shut off the super-flashlight. I could hear them cry out in terror. Hiding in a recess in the massif, I let them feel their way along. When they were just opposite me, I kicked one with all my might. He fell headlong into the abyss, shrieking all the way, and splashed in the water below, undoubtedly dead instantly. Turning the light back on an instant, I saw my victim had been Wezmim. I ran along the path, which formed a complete circle around the chasm, the light still shining. Zergfa and Piluglag came in hot pursuit, but when I returned the rocky chamber to blackness, another man fell. That man was Piluglag, himself a brawny giant just like Zergfa. I could hear his screams as he plummeted to this end. Zergfa stopped and wouldn’t chase me any longer, seeing what was likely to happen if he did. Nor did I want to engage him in hand-to-hand fighting. Compared with Zergfa, I was a mere child, a mere boy. So I hurried back out of the caverns, and through the restaurant, as if nothing happened. Hours later, Zergfa had found his way back out somehow, and came barging into Udi’s cottage. I was on the veranda. When I saw Zergfa, I picked up a wooden chair to guard myself, but Zergfa snatched it from my hands and broke it to pieces. So I grabbed another. He snatched and broke the second one too. “Now what are going to do, you flimsy little catamite?” Zergfa roared, laughing diabolically. Just as he was about to reach for my throat, Udi appeared with the broken leg of one of the chairs and struck Zergfa a terrible blow on the occiput. That just stunned him though, so I grabbed another fragment, and together Udi and I beat him till he was unconscious. He fell against the rail. So with a gargantuan effort, Udi and I hoisted his bulk over the top of the railing, and let him careen 6000 feet to the plains below. No one had seen anything. A routine investigation was conducted, and it was concluded that Zergfa had fallen accidentally. No one even knew that Wezmim and Piluglag were missing. If anyone had paid them any mind, he or she probably just concluded they had finished their tour and departed my monorail train. ------------ About the author Thomas Keyes: I have written two books: A SOJOURN IN ASIA (non-fiction) and A TALE OF UNG (fiction), neither published so far. I have studied languages for years and traveled extensively on five continents. Email: udikeyes@yahoo.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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