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By Patrick Hurley Aug. 20, 2006 Gotta love our Olympic athletes... Marion Jones, a five-time medalist and the queen of the Sydney Games in 2000, announced today she is, "shocked" that she failed a drug test. As a result she is anxious to correct this stunning mistake immediately, "I have requested that the testing of my 'B' sample be expedited and done as soon as possible." Be careful what you ask for, Marion. If recent memory serves me correctly, Floyd Landis was confident that his "B" sample would exonerate him. Big mistake. Huge. The question of why Maid Marion is so surprised that she failed a drug test is a curious one. Both her husbands were found to be drug-worthy as were several of her contemporaries. This is the Olympic way with a lot of our athletes these days. You take EPO, you get to go to the victory stand without passing GO and collecting $200.00. Actually, you make more money than that... This unprecedented travesty of justice in Marion's case has sent her reeling. How could this be happening to her? Historically, there are precedents for this kind of unfair victimization, I am sure of it. The captain of the Titanic must have been "shocked" there were icebergs in the North Atlantic in April. Can't you just hear him now? "Hey you up there in the crow's nest? What are those large, WHITE things straight ahead? Whales?" Neville Chamberlain was "shocked" when he found out that Adolph Hitler, the reasonable guy he was negotiating with in Munich in 1938, turned around after a negotiated peace and invaded just about every country in and around Germany starting World War II. Richard Nixon was "shocked" to find out that several people in his administration MAY have had something to do with the Watergate break-in. The owner of the cafe stated with a straight face in, "Casablanca," stated, "I am shocked, shocked to find out there is gambling going on in here!" Joran Van der Sloot was "shocked" that Natalee Holloway disappeared after he was with her. Jimmy Hoffa was "shocked" that his lunch meeting in 1975 turned out to be his last supper. Robert Blake was "shocked" that anyone could have possibly suspected him in the murder of his wife, Bonnie Lee Bakeley when he went in to the restaurant for FIVE minutes to retrieve his gun and in THAT TIME SPAN she was killed by someone who just happened to see her over in the dark near the trash dumpster where he had left her. So many "shocking" events and now...this. I am sure the second drug test will prove Marion's innocence. After all, she is an American icon in track and field. She is one of our heroines. She ran around the track in Sydney with a little American flag and waved it proudly. She would never cheat. She would always play fair and square. She is a role model for children and to see her have to endure these terrible accusations are just uh, well quite frankly... Shocking. I guess the liars are always the last ones to know... ------------ About the author:   Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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