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Aug. 18, 2006 DISCLAIMER: No part of this “classified” briefing was divulged by liberal media. Liberal media is responsible to ensure only American classified secrets are openly spread over the entire breadth of the world. This classified transcript is actually from actual spy guys that had to really dig hard without being caught and exposed by the liberal media. Begin transcript: “Good morning my beloved minions of communist comprehension. I, your illustrious and beloved leader, General Ful Oh Poo have some incredible new information for you to help you fight against the forces of peace, liberty and prosperity.” “If you have been monitoring your individual subscriptions to the Middle Eastern edition of the “Stars and Stripes” you now know about the latest Army vehicle, “The Buffalo”, thanks to the July 2nd edition.” “We can see that it will soon be very difficult to kill Americans with IED’s no matter how much explosive material we send to our terrorist friends in Iraq.” “You have seen the pictures and you now have the dimensions, engine size and maximum vehicle speed. American ingenuity continues to find ways to stifle the attacks of enemies.” “You have also seen the “Raven”, unmanned aircraft the American Army is using for “patrolling” and aerial surveillance. It is a small craft, but the pictures in the July 3rd edition gave us an appropriate silhouette for aircraft identification purposes.” “I know you also read the report by Jeff Schogol of the Stars and Stripes. It seems the Americans have their new thermal sights for their .50-caliber machine guns. This could be a bad thing. You remember we lost thousands of our communist brothers in the Korean War from American .50-caliber guns and they did not have the improved sight.” “I know the article did not give much technical data. I am sure that will come when the sights are finally issued. Keep your eyes on your subscriptions and report to me immediately when the technical details are published by the American media.” “I know that you are all thinking it would be much simpler if a Democrat were in the American White House. The Days of Clinton were a wonderful time of military growth and the nuclear technology that Clinton gave us helped immensely in our efforts to develop intercontinental ballistic missiles. We will continue to pray to Mao that we will again have our inner circle buying American secrets soon. Our continuing effort to keep Clinton close to Bush may yet pay big communist dividends.” The Americans are also bragging about their new jet fighter. I am sure you all read with interest the article on July 9th by David Koenig of the AP entitled: New fighter Lightening II unveiled”. The Americans have only one working prototype and we are trying to get our friends at Lockheed-Martin to grant us a photo opportunity. We may not have to worry much though. The present production models will not be distributed until 2012. We will have begun our total destruction of all things American long before 2012.” “Thanks to the Associated Press and the American Environmentalist Movement the United States Navy is still very restricted in using its new Active Sonar Technology. The Environmentalists are more concerned over a few fish than the many diesel submarines we have in our fleet. It is fortunate that our fleet of submarines is of the older type. We will easily defeat the more powerful American Navy as long as the Environmentalists keep doing what I have read in “Suit forces Navy to change Sonar plans”. “Finally, I hope you read: “AF Special Ops plan for base move” by Lisa Burgess of the Stars and Stripes.” There was much good intelligence concerning “AFSOC’s two active wings of the Air Force Special Operations Command” being at “Hurlburt Field, the command’s headquarters and home of the 16th Special Operations Wing, and Moody Air Force Base, Georgia, home of the 347th Rescue Wing” as I read this to you from Lisa’s detailed piece.” “All the Special Operations planning is spelled out quite nicely for us including aircraft mixes at the individual bases and the types of operations being planned for each base. It is a wonderful article indeed!” “So that is the latest from the American press my communist brothers. Keep up your New York Times and Washington Post subscriptions also. There is no telling when one of those news outlets will disclose another secret FBI or CIA operation.” “That is all for now; Dismissed!” (End of transcript) ------------ About the Author: Michael John McCrae has contributed over 500 articles to Useless-Knowledge.com. Email: macswordV@hotmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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