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 By Patrick Hurley Apr. 29, 2006 Did you hear about the gal who just won a judgment against her former employer because during a round of games and camraderie intended to, ahem, boost company morale, she was SPANKED? Janet Orlando, 53, was whacked several times by fellow employees of Alarm One, Inc. during a sales-building exercise. Other activities involved throwing pies at each other, feeding them baby food and making them wear diapers. It sounds like a really fun company to work for, doesn't it! I wonder what they will do next year, have everyone strip and roll around in JELLO? The lawyer for Ms.Orlando tried to keep his comments legally sober as he seethed, "No reasonable, middle-aged woman would want to be put up there before a group of young men, turned around to show her buttocks, get spanked and called abusive names and told it was to increase sales and motivate employees," said Orlando's attorney, Nicolas "Butch" Wagner. Personally, I don't think he should have added the "Butch" part if he was to be taken seriously... Evidently, Janet got spanked because she was LATE for the meetings. Had she been on time, she could have saved her buttocks from being, uh, hammererd. Here is the interesting part of this story. The company said it was a VOLUNTARY program for any employees who wanted to participate in this endeavor. Hmm. That puts a little different spin on the spanking. Voluntary. That is a mighty impressive word. Because if that is true, Janet darling did NOT have to participate. Maybe she is a shrewd little cookie after all. She arrives late to the meeting on purpose KNOWING she will be paddled, takes the punishment, endures the humiliation, quits her job and collects 1.7 million from a horrified jury, (I am guessing mostly women here!) and is set for the next ten years of her life. Plus, like a lot of women who enjoy being spanked anyway.... I better not go THERE! The lawyer for the company, K. Poncho Baker, (I swear I am NOT making these names up!) suggested this very scenario, "This (the lawsuit being brought by Janet Orlando) is being done for one reason and one reason only--money." He may be right. But, one has to consider the stupidity of Alarm One, Inc. that practices such sexist rituals in a politcally sensitive world in the 21st Century. Voluntary or not, they set themselves up for a lawsuit and they got what they deserved. The humiliation of any human being, especially a woman being spanked, is abhorrent in our world today. Especially since they are not marketing videos of this tawdry and sexually shameless event. Which is too bad because I just got my new VISA card in the mail.... ------------ About the author: Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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