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 By Argile Stox Apr. 28, 2006 This is a very hard article to write. During the course of your lifetime you lose touch with relatives and siblings. It is only natural that elderly relatives die and your immediate family consists of a brother or sister. You may lose touch with your siblings to family arguments, disagreements, and other things that may interrupt your relationship with them. The chasm that prevents you from communicating with your sibling could be very deep and wide. However, no matter how much you try – you never stop thinking about them. You may love that sibling deeply; however, something happened, something changed, or something drove you apart. When that happens, both parties involved stop calling each other and all verbal and written communication ceases. Months, years, decades can fly by and you’d never hear from that sibling again. It just maybe a simple case that each sibling is too hurt, stubborn or you both need a break from each other. However, they still remain in your mind and you wish them the best. About a week ago, there was an article on the Internet and the New York Times that was of great interest and concerned an affliction that my sister suffers from. We had not communicated for about a year and a half. I still had her e-mail address, so –I sent her the two articles I had found on the Internet. I fully expected that she would not reply to my e-mails. I sent the articles to her because her affliction is now a serious topic that is being studied vigorously by medical universities. I figured that it would not hurt to send her the articles in question –just in case she was not aware of the new discoveries concerning her affliction. So, I sent the emails out to my sister and did not expect a reply. This morning I checked my e-mail and there was a reply from my sister. “This has to be a mistake,” I said to myself. I opened the e-mail - she thanked me for the articles and asked how I was doing? Needless to say, many events –some good, some bad have transpired in my life during the last year and a half. “How am I doing?” That was a loaded question. Quite frankly, I just did not know where to begin in an e-mail response to her. Lucky for me, the U-K created a list of contributing columnists that lists all the articles that were published on this web site. So, I copied and pasted the link to my contributing columnist web site and emailed it to my sister. In the topic line of the e-mail I simply stated, “Click on a link and read the articles.” I figured that the U-K will do the talking for me, and answer the question –“How am I doing?” My sister rarely checks her e-mail due to the fact that the last I heard, her desktop computer was ancient and crashed frequently. The last time I emailed my sister, was when I learned that her affliction had flared up and she was suffering from severe back pain. I tried to call her; however, her telephone answering machine recorded my concerns, over and over again. I tried to email her –no reply. So, I tried the next best thing - I emailed a male friend of my sister to try and get some information. A few days went by, and my sister called me. After we discussed her affliction and flare up of her back pain, she told me straight out that my e-mails to her male friend was clogging up his e-mail program. For a few moments, I was stunned. First thing, I was concerned about my sister and wanted to know how she was doing, and if there was anything I could do, suggest –easing her pain. When her words finally sunk into my mind that my emails were clogging up the male friend’s e-mail program, I said, “OK, that’s it!” I don’t really know if my sister was aware of what my statement really meant. “OK, that’s it!” Simply means that she will no longer receive a telephone call from me, or receive any more e-mails. When I moved from Illinois to South Dakota, I sent her an e-mail with my new address and telephone number. I waited for two weeks after my 51st birthday and then blocked her telephone number from our telephone service. The reason I did this, was that I was in South Dakota for seven months –not even a phone call or birthday card was sent by her to me via email or snail mail. My sister could not call me, ever! The only thing she could do was to write me a letter or send an e-mail. Those were the only two avenues open to her to communicate with me. I am not a spiteful person. However, I was hurt and dismayed that my written concerns via e-mail and telephone messages was an intrusion in her life. In addition, I was completely taken aback when my sister told me that my emails were clogging up her male friend’s email program. In my mind, that was the end of the story. I simply have no patience when an individual, my sister or anyone else disregards my concerns for them –and tells me that I should, in so many words, “Butt out of their lives and leave them alone.” So, that is exactly what I did. No more communications via e-mail or telephone calls. I was done! Dear Reader, you may be wondering why I sent my sister the articles concerning her affliction in the first place? Was this some sort of lame attempt to reestablish some sort of relationship with my sister? No! The reasoning behind sending her information concerning her affliction was a knee jerk reaction. There were two articles which discussed advances in the diagnosing and treatment of her affliction, and I thought that she should be aware of them. That was it! I had no other intention of reestablishing a connection with my sister. I wish her well. I truly hope that she is having a happy life. However, I am done being her brother. Will I ever send her another e-mail concerning articles or information concerning her affliction? No! Why should I? The only response I received from her was, “How are you doing?” Maybe her response was to test the waters to see if I would respond. Well, she can read how I am doing by reading the articles I write in this forum on the U-K web site. That is as far as I will go to let her know what is going on in my life. On her end, she is free to be a contributing columnist to the U-K forum. There’s nothing stopping her from doing so. It would be a real trip to read my sister’s thoughts, what’s going on in her life, and what she’s doing to deal with her life –through the intermediary of the U-K forum. Are you up to the challenge –Dear Sister? On the other hand, I have a feeling that my sister will click on the U-K link to the articles I’ve written. Knowing my sister, she will read a few of my articles, and that will be that. I inadvertently opened the door to communication with my sister by sending her information. She then responded with, “Thank you for the information. How are you doing?” Well, Dear Sister – if you read all of the articles I have written on the U-K forum, that will basically bring you up to date. The only thing that a person has left when they are growing old and about to leave this earth early or late in life, are their surviving siblings. Parents die, husbands and wives die, and the only thing that you may have left of your original blood family is your brother or sister. There was a time where I would have gladly and with gusto –pick up the phone or send an e-mail to my sister. Unfortunately, too much time has elapsed. My sister also understands that I cut out people, who cause me pain and sorrow permanently from my life. Sadly, my sister made the cut - in more ways than one. That is all I know for now. I thought I’d get the thoughts and reactions that were rambling through my mind on paper. Well, this isn’t exactly paper –LOL! However, it is the next best thing. And the best part about the U-K forum? Is that it is forever! Once my column is published, it stays published on the Internet. My articles cannot be used to line the bottom of a birdcage, torn up, shredded, set on fire, or mutilated. However, everything mentioned can happen, if someone decides to print out my articles. My articles are in cyberspace, in a U-K forum –and the above can’t happen. Oh, yeah – I forgot one thing. The Editor of this forum could simply delete me and all of my articles from this forum. That is always a possibility - which I am profoundly aware of! ------------ Email Argile Stox: argilestox@gmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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