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Apr. 28, 2006 "Good morning, my father that art in heaven," Jesus proclaimed. "Quit being a wisenheimer, Jesus," God responded. "What's going on?" Jesus walked around the floor of his father's palace and brimmed. "Well, good father, I have joyous news," he stated. "Just spit it out, son," God said, obviously getting frustrated. "Well, father, it seems that all my plans are going well on Earth," he said, with a wink. "By preaching tolerance and turning the other cheek and teaching my disciples about being good people, billions of humans have come around to my way." God, upon realizing what his son had said, chuckled heartily. "You can't tell me stuff like that before I've had my coffee." Jesus took his seat in his gilded thrown and let out a sigh. "What's troubling you," God asked. "Well, father, I was only half joking," he said. "You see, I thought it I spread the word about being a good human and getting into Heaven that people would actually try to make Earth a better place and bring about peace so that, one day, we could add onto Heaven and make one on Earth." "Son," God said, lowering his tone. "Humans make foolhardy decisions no matter what they hear or are taught or believe, for that matter. You did your best but they just won't listen." At hearing this, Jesus let out another sigh. "Father, why do humans think that, by just saying they "know me" or have a "personal relationship" with me that they will somehow get in? I mean, this isn't an exclusive night club or something." God leaned back in his throne and looked out at the beautiful sky he had created so many billions of years ago and smiled. "Son, it is enough that you did your best," he said. "You cannot expect any kind of results for those who do not wish to listen." Jesus scrunched up his face and, after a few moments, shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you are right, father," he said. "I guess our only hope lies in those willing to do what is right for the sake of doing good." "I have faith in the Democrats too," God said, with a smile. "I just wish that they would hurry up." Later that night, back on Earth at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, a little man in his little bubble tried to get a message through to God. But, as usual, God wasn't listening because, well, God hates it when you give them all the chances in the world to do right and they just keep messing it up. The End ------------ About the author: Nicholas Olson is a long-time journalist who has been a columnist at his college newspaper and is currently a military journalist. Email: nicholasjolson@yahoo.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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