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Apr. 26, 2006 In a late-life career change, the distaff side of the Hurl-Meri-full-of-grace denigration duo took a few moments out of her ongoing Boycott-Aruba campaign, slipped a food critic’s hat onto her pointy little head, and extolled the delights of her latest culinary concoction: Aruban Alphabet Soup. Never one to miss a chance to swap recipes with a septuagenarian grandmother who dares to go beyond making apple pie, I would ask her to cast her memory way, way back to when she first heard the recipe for stone soup (was Franklin D. Roosevelt playing on the radio in the background?). My own fond memories of a well-made, gently simmered stone soup are enough to make my teeth water. First, you need a stockpot, and the bigger it is, the better the end result will be. You fill it three-quarters full of fresh water; initially add a clean stone (a rounded, fresh granite boulder of about three-pounds weight is ideal); turn the stove to ‘simmer’; tell all and sundry that stone soup’s a-cooking and that their contributions are urgently required—and sit back to see what fate will bring in. Never one to think small, HNI (http://www.useless-knowledge.net/viewtopic.php?t=237) chose as its stockpot the island of Aruba, added as its initial contribution the made-for-the-media vanishing of Natalee Holloway (a stone upon which many may end up breaking their teeth), and then turned the heat up to high by way of its Internet misinformation campaign. Lordy, Lordy, but the fates were kind. Three months of an all-expenses-paid (rooms, food, alcohol and Casino comps) stay in Aruba. Tens upon tens of millions of dollars in donations. Instant fame and media exposure. Sycophants, a repentant convict, entertainment-channel employees, even Oprah’s Dr. Phil—all at HNI’s imperious beck and call. Emboldened by the first few servings (Toyota Tundra- and Fat Boy-filled), HNI looked to the cooks at the New York State court system for garnishment, hoping that that was the way to add more than a few pounds of innocent, withheld Arubian flesh to their broth. http://www.useless-knowledge.com/1234/06apr/article097.html Tsk, tsk. Too many cooks can indeed spoil the broth. Mr. Joseph Tacopina, the New York-based lawyer for Aruba’s van der Sloot family, filed his response yesterday and turned HNI’s serving (upon Joran van der Sloot) into a recipe for disaster. Eleven MB trip participants were induced to enter this strange stew as lowly scullions and pot-wallopers, lending their names, reputations and sworn affidavits to add desperately needed substance to HNI’s thin suppositions. Courtesy of Mr. Tacopina’s latest court filing, we now find that five of these pot-stirrers had previously been interviewed in June by the FBI, in Birmingham, and that the statements made to the FBI have also been given to the team defending the van der Sloot family. Alas and alack. One set of source documents (either the FBI statements or else the affidavits filed in support of the Holloway and Twitty lawsuit) is seemingly long past its best-by date, and describes two differing versions of one event, or else disingenuously describes two events as one event. Either way, I can not imagine the New York State Supreme Court being amused by the introduction of spoiled meat into what was served to them as being fresh and untainted. Five out of five. Whew. That is a pretty impressive ratio, except that these were sworn statements and affidavits. However, on the plus side (and thank God the integrity of a future officer and gentleman isn’t being called into refute), the West Point cadet who gave an affidavit hasn’t been identified as being among those who also gave a statement to the FBI. And mixed into Mr. Tacopina’s meaty contribution is more mention of a toothbrush (it’s always the toothbrush. Why a toothbrush?) and, contained in a statement given to the FBI, the revealing of yet another sighting of the missing Ms. Holloway back at the Holiday Inn, post-Joran, “Whatley advised that Edward Kissle or Kissel, MB trip participant, appeared on the news saying he saw Holloway on the beach Sunday night (actually morning), but later changed his story.” Is this leaving a foul taste in your mouth? If it is, here is the headline written by Kati Cornell and Todd Venezia in today’s NY Post: “NATALEE'S MOM A LIAR: SUSPECT” http://www.nypost.com/news/nationalnews/67603.htm ------------ About the author: Dayo Gould is a frequent visitor to Aruba, and is a volunteer ESL teacher in a Christian school. Email: ed_asp@hotmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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