The Cocktail Napkin

Articles

The Cocktail Napkin

By Kaycee Nilson
Apr. 20, 2006

I had a doctor’s appointment that had to do a radiation CT Scan. I know some of the results because they had to tell me to crawl back into bed. On the 29th of April, they will tell me the total results of the CT Scan and the date of surgery.

Yes, they have found a way to fix (at least attempt to fix) that broken vertebrae. They are going to fuse bone that has been shaved from another bone that will be done to the back of my spinal column. Up front, the part that faces my guts, they are going to be putting in pentacle screws. They are hoping that this will close the bone enough so as to not trap any more nerves. They did tell me that I do have nerve damage to the synatic nerve.

But I have hopes that they will be successful with this surgery and I would love to be able to sleep through the night just once without muscle relaxers or pain pills.

But while I was waiting for the testing to begin, they gave me a cocktail napkin to wear. I’m sorry, but cocktail napkins are for Martinis, not for patients in a lab. Before I knew what was going on, a 21 year old tech slaps a rubber band around my arm and begins to search for a vein.

After five needle sticks, I told her to use a butterfly and get the vein in my hand. Now my hand stings to high heaven and my hand is slightly swollen.

Then I had to sit around in that paper napkin until my 30 minutes was up. Then they strapped me to a table and sent me into the oven feet first and I began to hear the humming and whirring of the machine as it began,

I was stuck on this grooved table for 30 minutes while it seemed to undulate my hearing. Anyone who has had an MRI or a CT Scan knows what I am talking about. For hours after all you hear is whirring and booming noises.

Can you imagine laying on a cold table with a thin layer of paper on it while wearing a cocktail napkin and not being able to scratch your nose for 30 minutes? It is torture of the worse kind. Even more than hearing the neighbor’s dog barking at 4 am. Maybe that’s what they should do to Death Row Inmates, give them CT Scans and MRI’s everyday! The sound alone is enough to pluck out your own ear drums.

But I survived the ordeal with as much dignity that a person wearing a paper napkin can have. I slouched back to the dressing room and ripped the gown to shreds. Sounds childish I know, but it was a symbolic ceremony for me to destroy that gown. I wanted to believe that I am never to have another CT Scan, but I know sometime in my life I will have to have a CT Scan and another MRI.

Anyone have earplugs??

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About the author: Kaycee Nilson has completed her first novel, "Night Falls on Chicago." The first two chapters can be viewed at http://www.KayceeNilson.com.

Besides writing columns for Useless-Knowledge and Speedway Media, Kaycee is currently working on two more novels, "From the Mind of a Vampire", and "I'll Love You Til You Die."

If you have enjoyed what you read, or would like to leave Kaycee a message, please visit her message board at http://www.KayceeNilson.com/Board

Email: Kaycee@kayceenilson.com

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