When Rich White Kids Try To Be... Black?

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When Rich White Kids Try To Be... Black?

By Jack Lepiarz
Apr. 11, 2006

As time goes on I notice more and more kids blurting out words like "badonkadonk," phrases like "fo' shizzle," and oftentimes demanding that they referred to with various titles like "pimpdaddy."

Then they drive off in their 2007 Audi A6, blasting the hardest gangster rap they have on their iPods (which their parents bought for them), and return to their multi-million dollar mansions.

Ho dayam. Now that is wack.

A few years ago I used to talk to these folks and try and enlighten them as to how incredibly rich and white that they were. For example, I might hold up a picture of one of them, and then replace it with another person enjoying a delicious package of saltine crackers. That, naturally, failed miserably and often resulted in threats like "I'll break your face." So now I've taken a different approach. I talk to these folks and tell them how incredibly black they are. For example, the rich guy wearing the Tupac shirt? I inform him that it's closed casket season, and he'd better watch his back "lest the boys from Compton come down and go totally (ahem) 'medieval' on your rear end."

Personally, I get a laugh out of it. As long as I don't get a broken face in the process. I understand that some people may accuse me of being insensitive in this article, but, let's put it this way: if I'm being offensive by using minor jokes to emphasize a point, then you should see the way that these guys actually speak. It sounds like something straight out of one of the recent Grand Theft Auto Games.

Maybe that's what's to blame! Those dastardly video games. Or music! Or television!

Or maybe it's your child's idiot mind. That's certainly my guess.

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About the author: Jack Lepiarz is a senior at Madison High School. Born in Waco, Texas, he lived with the Big Apple Circus for much of his early childhood, eventually moving to Madison, New Jersey, where he now resides. Although he is often described as stubborn and egotistical, he tries to keep an open-mind towards new ideas and treat people the way he would like to be treated.

Email: Jackwuzhere42@aol.com

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